“I’ll strip for you, Cupcake, I promise.” I brushed my lips against hers. “I just need to tell you something first.”
This was already heading toward disaster. I figured I’d come in, we’d kiss hello and catch up, and I’d ease it into the conversation somehow. I didn’t think I would have to turn her down and explain why. Although, I guessed it didn’t matter when or how I told her. Easing in or blurting it out wouldn’t make it hurt any less.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the couch. With her fingers entwined with mine, I sucked in a breath and met her puzzled gaze.
“About nine years ago, I came back to New York for a weekend. We finally had a buyer on the house, and Uncle Billy and I wanted to make sure we didn’t leave anything of personal value there. Dad didn’t give a shit, no surprise there.” I huffed out a nervous laugh.
Brianna leaned forward with a crinkled brow. “You were here and didn’t tell me? Why? I would have made sure I was home from school to see you.”
I gripped her hand tighter and covered it with my other hand. “I had just gotten a letter from you, and you sounded so happy. Seeing me would have set you back. You can fight me if you want on that, but you know it’s the truth.”
Brianna dropped her gaze and nodded slowly. Her chest jerked with a humorless chuckle. “All right. Fine.”
Her tongue clicked, so it was anythingbutfine. Still, I continued.
“I ended up at a bar alone. I was going to have a drink and head back to the hotel room I’d rented next to the airport since I had to leave for the base first thing in the morning. I . . .”Spit it out, Josh.“I started talking to the waitress there. It felt weird being back and clearing out the house so I guess I was in a weird head space. One thing lead to another and—”
Brianna yanked her hand from mine and held it up. “Okay, I think I know where this story is headed. I don’t know why you feel the need to tell me, but I’ve heard enough.” Her eyes narrowed as she fidgeted on the couch. I hated thinking of her with Scott all those years so I understood her aversion.
My lungs deflated as I prepared to lower the boom.
“Well, the waitress, Sara. I ran into her again.”
Brianna’s eyes narrowed. “Raninto her?”
“At PS Twenty-three, Reid’s school. I met him there one day because we were supposed to have a couple of beers that night. She was there with her daughter. She’s a second grader.”
Her shoulders shrugged in annoyance. “Okay, so you ran into her at Reid’s school with her daughter.” She said each word slowly as her eyes pinned me to my seat on the couch. “I don’t understand why you’re telling me this—”
And that’s when she figured it out. Her hand flew to her mouth as the color drained from her face.
“Her daughter,” she gasped before her eyes squeezed shut. “She’s—”
“Mine. Yes. I had no idea until that day. We knew each other for one night and didn’t exchange any information. Bri, I swear—”
Her hands raked through her hair as she studied the floor. Her gaze was confused and pained, as if someone knocked the wind out of her.
“Wh . . . What’s her name?” she stammered out.
“Victoria.” I couldn’t help my grin. “She’s a beautiful little girl. She has my exact color green eyes; it’s how I figured it out.”
“Your eyes are definitely different.” A wistful smile ghosted her face. “So . . . what now? Have you seen her since?”
“Yes. Sara isn’t the most amiable, but she’s been letting me stop by. Victoria’s a writer, like you. She’s even in a program at school.” Brianna’s eyes watered as she gave me an empty stare. “I hate all those years she spent thinking her father didn’t care, especially since I spent most of my life knowing my mother didn’t. And my dad, he tried, but . . . I want to give her all I didn’t have. Be a good parent, put her first. I’ve only known her a short time, but . . .” I leaned forward and tucked a lock of hair behind Brianna’s ear. Her eyes shut at the contact. “She’s really easy to love.”
She reached up and gave my wrist a squeeze. “See? You’re a good dad already.” She pressed the heels of her palms into her thighs before rising from the couch. “I thought we’d go shopping. You can pick out some sheets, maybe a couple of pieces of furniture. Anything you want to make this place feel like yours.” She shot me a big smile that never made it to her eyes.
“You still want me to move in?” I squinted my eyes, her actions not matching the words coming out of her mouth.
“Yeah. I mean, it was a long time ago. It’s not like you cheated. A few years later, I was with Scott. I mean, we could have a kid, if you think about it.” Hysterical laughter bubbled out of her chest.
My jaw clenched, but I only nodded back. I came back to push Scott out of the way because she belonged with me, and now my half a fling was a permanent fixture in our lives. If she’d had kids with another man, semantics or not, I’d hate it—and I knew her well enough to know she hated it, too.
“Well,” she breathed, her voice squeaky and too cheerful. “Let me get dressed and we can go.” Her mouth clenched in a forced smile.
I pulled her toward me by the hand and pressed a light kiss to her palm. “I love you, Bri.”
She smiled and nodded before rushing into the bedroom.
