“That’s my neighbor. She’s going to New Jersey for a week, and she said she’d stop by with her mail key.” I gave him a quick peck before I grabbed my robe and dashed to my door.
“Sorry, Mary!” I called out before I opened the door. “Merry Christ—”
My heart dropped into my stomach as I wrapped my robe tighter around me.
“Merry Christmas, Bri,” Scott rasped as he leaned against the doorway. I was supposed to be joining him at his parents’ house today. Knowing him, he told them all about his proposal plans and hadn’t mentioned to them that he’d be arriving alone. A twinge of guilt pinched my chest for a moment before memories of last night flooded back to the surface. Josh was as much of a jerk as he was, but he was still the one I wanted. I’d thought I made that clear until I looked into Scott’s unsure, but hopeful eyes.
“Look,” Scott clipped as he pushed past me into my apartment. “Last night got out of hand. We don’t have to get married yet; we can wait for when you’re ready. But Josh, sorry, he’s non-negotiable. I know you’ve been friends since you were kids, but he wants—”
He trailed off as his eyes fell on Josh’s leather jacket draped over one of my dining room chairs. He let out a long sigh and shook his head.
“He’s here. How did I not know that?” He would never believe that Josh spent the night in my bed and sex didn’t happen. But, as terrible as it was, I didn’t feel the need to explain. I was done pretending and dawdling between Josh and Scott. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him, but I couldn’t string him along any more than I already had. Staying with Scott would have been settling, and that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. When his eyes found mine again, my body chilled from his icy glare.
“Did you ever love me?” he scoffed as he ambled toward me. “I knew I started out as a consolation prize, but I thought maybe you did.”
I bit my lip as my throat burned. “I did. I do, but it’s been forced between us for so long. You know that. When Josh came back—”
“When he came back, I didn’t have a chance. Wow, you didn’t even waste a second. Or was this going on all along? All that special ‘friend time.’” He brought his fingers up in air quotes. “Was that code for fucking your best friend?”
“No, it hasn’t been going on all this time.” I struggled to keep my voice even, as fighting with him now was pointless. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Oh, give me a break, Brianna. He came back into town and getting into your pants was a given. All his little trips down memory lane with his Cupcake. If you want to live out your lifelong fantasy with that douchebag rather than a man who was trying to provide for you, that’s fine.”
“I have a job. I don’t need you to provide for me. I needed you to love me and support me, and I’m not sure you ever really did that.”
“Is this about the book?” He dropped his face into his hands as he laughed. “Let me guess, he read it and said how ah-mazing it was. How you should run to publish it. Blew a shitload of smoke up your ass before he put his dick between your legs. I never thought you were that easy, Brianna.”
“That’s fucking enough!” Josh bellowed before he stalked over to Scott. “You need to leave. Now. No one speaks to my girl like that. I don’t want to fight you, but one more word and you’ll be eating Christmas dinner without any teeth.”
“Yourgirl?” he snickered. “Twenty-four hours ago, she was mine. What a difference a day makes.”
Scott came over to me as I gripped the edge of my table. “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” He nudged his chin at Josh. “Merry Christmas.” He stomped through my door and shut it behind him.
I brought my hand to my chest in an effort to calm my racing heart. Scott’s awful words stung because they were true. I’d hurt him because I was too frightened to be honest with myself. Rubbing the heels of my hands over my eyes, I tried to will away the burn in my throat.
“Are you hungry?” I took off my robe and draped it over one of my kitchen chairs. “I think I have bread for French Toast.” I reached for my pan on the wall as Josh grabbed my wrist.
“Stop.” Josh grabbed both my wrists and swiveled my body around to face him. “Talk to me. Are you all right?”
“Fine,” I muttered, not wanting to look him in the eye. I pulled out of his grip and marched over to the fridge, feeling Josh’s stare cutting into my skin as I reached for the eggs and bacon. I let the door close without turning around and let the mixing bowl bang on my counter louder than I wanted it to.
“Sorry,” I whispered before noticing the ticking of Josh’s jaw. “What?”
“You’re not . . .” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
I threw a loaf of bread at Josh’s head, and with a quick reflex, he caught it with one hand.
“No, idiot. Of course, not. I love you, and as we established last night, that’s not front-page news. You need to leave my kitchen before I pelt you with eggs.”
The smirk on Josh’s face only made me more irritated. He held up both hands in defeat before he crossed the length of my tiny kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Cupcake.”
“So am I.” I exhaled a long breath, trying to ignore the twisting of guilt in my stomach.
He didn’t answer me, only leaned against my counter as I made angry French toast.
“I deserved that.” I cracked an egg on the side of the bowl. “All of it.”
