Jack had an aggressive form of leukemia, and went through months of grueling chemotherapy. His doctor suggested an experimental drug when nothing else was working, and since then he’d made a fantastic turnaround. I hoped maybe the miracle we all begged God for had finally happened.
Jack furrowed his brow and turned serious. “I just want to see my baby. Any time after that is just gravy.” Before his treatment started, Ellie and Jack saw a fertility specialist to get pregnant right away, as the chemo would most likely make Jack sterile.
I nudged his shoulder. “Stop that! You’ll see the baby and be the pain in the ass father you were always meant to be.” I couldn’t handle it when Jack spoke like he may not be here for much longer. I wasn’t mature enough to discuss the ‘what if’s’ so I was determined to reside in denial. The possibility of living without my older twin scared the shit out of me. Jack was my rock, and I didn’t know how to function in a world without him.
Jack grabbed my wrist and opened his mouth to say something, most likely to lecture me once again about being prepared, when we were saved by a knock at the door.
“Excuse me for a second.” As Jack sauntered over to the door, I noticed he gained some weight back. It both relieved and delighted me to see his clothes not falling off his bony frame anymore.
“Hey man, I guess Ellie and I are the only ones who actually sleep in on Saturday mornings. Come on in.”
I almost choked on my bagel at the sight of the man strolling into the kitchen.
“Evan? Holy shit, is that you?” I stood up from my seat at the table and he scooped me up in a big hug.
Evan had been Jack’s best friend since in high school. But he looked . . . different now. The last time I saw Evan was at Jack’s wedding two years ago. He was always sort of tall and lanky with floppy dark hair, but now he had a buzz cut and was sure ashellnot skinny anymore. The tight T-shirt he wore clung to every muscle and ridge in his sculpted torso. I’d been alone for so long, the veins that outlined Evan’s biceps made me salivate. With his hair not covering his face, his eyes really stood out. They were an odd color, not brown, not hazel—almost golden.
I needed to get hold of myself. Evan was practically extended family. I let myself ogle him for another second before I internally shook it off. I’d been single a little too long—maybe it was time for that rabbit thing my friends were always suggesting to me.
“Yep, it’s me. How long has it been? Two years? You look amazing!”
My hair was matted in a messy ponytail, and I had a drying sweat stain under my boobs. I doubted I looked anything close to amazing, or even presentable.
“Yeah, okay. Sweet of you to lie. How long will you be here?”
“I forgot to tell you,” Jack interrupted. “Evan is officially back in the Bronx and working with me. In fact, he moved just down the block. We actually get to see this loser in person all the time now.” Jack slapped Evan on the back. They’d been close friends for years, even after Evan moved away.
Jack owned his own flooring company. He’d learned the trade doing side jobs during college. After he graduated with a business degree, he put his heart and soul into opening Taylor’s Flooring. Jack was a force to be reckoned with, and I was so damn proud of him.
“Yeah, I get to bust his chops in person instead of just texting or calling. I was coming back from running and saw the lights on.”
“Since everyone I know is so into exercise, maybe I should give it a try. Although I just got used to sitting upright without wanting to throw up, I should probably pace myself.” Jack laughed at his own joke, but Evan and I shook our heads and looked away. Stupid humor was how my cousin usually dealt with any kind of tension, but it seemed Evan didn’t care for jokes about Jack being sick either.
“I better go wake Ellie up since we have a full house his morning. Excuse me.” Jack strolled down the hall to their bedroom.
“How’s he doing?” Evan grimaced at me as he leaned against the refrigerator.
I shrugged. “Lately, really well. They stopped the chemo but he seems to be responding well to this experimental treatment. Up until a couple of months ago, the best he could manage was propping himself up on the couch when I came over. Seeing him like this gives me hope.” I smiled as big as possible and pretended I didn’t dread the day Ellie told me Jack was bedridden again. With practice, I was getting really good at this denial thing.
Evan slid into a chair at the table and reached into the paper bag to dig out a bagel.
“Jack always seemed invincible to me. Even when we were kids.” Evan’s voice trailed off.
I squeezed the top of his hand. “Let’s hope he still is.” Evan’s gaze jerked up to mine. I’d meant the touch as a friendly gesture, but now it felt too forward. Our eyes locked, and Evan nodded slowly. Feeling an odd little spark, I yanked my hand off a little too quickly for it not to be awkward.
Had it been that long since I touched a man I wasn’t related to? I was sure I imagined that little moment. We were both feeling vulnerable. That’s all it was.
“So what’s going on with you? Jack told me you aren’t with Chris anymore.”
“No, we weren’t as serious as I thought we were. It’s been over for a few months now.”
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but even though I’d only met him a couple of times—I never liked that prick. And your friend always rubbed me the wrong way. What was her name, Seashell?”
I chuckled; I guessed Jack filled him in. “Coral. My friends and family were never crazy about either of them, but I didn’t know how much until they were both gone. I’m a little slow on the uptake, I guess.”
“Nah, you were too good for them both. Way too beautiful for him, that’s for sure.” Our eyes locked again, and I drew a blank as to what to say in reply. I’d known this guy for most of my life. Why was a simple conversation becoming so uncomfortable?
“Good morning, guys! Paige brought bagels? I told you she was my favorite Taylor!” Ellie ran over to me and kissed my forehead, then ravenously reached into the bag and pulled out two bagels. Jack was right about the new momma-to-be being hungry as a bear.
