Shock filtered through my system, but letting Ellie see wouldn’t help anything. I stood from my chair and leaned over her bed. My hand slid to the back of her neck, and I gave her the calmest smile I could manage. “If you are, you are,” I said with a shrug.
“Nick, I haven’t eaten in days. If I am . . . The baby could be in trouble, all because I didn’t come here sooner.” Ellie’s quivering hands fisted the sheets covering her legs.
“You’re here now, sweetheart. Everything will be okay. I promise.” I rested my forehead against hers.
She shook her head as she leaned into me.
“You always make impossible promises.” She chuckled and gave me a sad smile.
This was a potential curveball I would never have expected—but it wasn’t me I was worried about. Sure, this wasn’t the order or time frame I planned, but I had no doubts about wanting a family with Ellie. We’d just spent two weeks apart because I was light years ahead of her where that was concerned. I wanted her in my life enough to back off about it, but a baby would change everything, whether either of us liked it or not.
“I guess now we wait.” She sighed and draped her arm over her face.
“You were right.”
Ellie’s eyes narrowed as she turned to face me. “Right about what.”
“What happened with Maddie and Kevin had a lot to do with me walking away, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. Losing you, both of you, like that is . . . something I can’t even consider. I never loved anyone the way I love you. I think it makes me a little crazy.” A smile curved my lips.
“I remember the first time I saw you.” I inched my chair closer to the bed. “Everyone was settling in their seats for the wedding ceremony, and you sprinted up the aisle past me to sit in the front.”
Ellie nodded with a laugh. “Paige had a dress accident right before she had to walk down the aisle. I had to help Aunt Rose sew the part of the hem she ripped at the very last second.”
“You wore a tight black satin dress that fell off one ridiculously sexy shoulder. For someone so tiny, you packed a lot of curves in that little dress. I spent most of the wedding ceremony ogling you from behind. I was grateful they made us stand a couple of times.”
“No shame in your game.” Ellie quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Zero.” A smirk tipped the side of my mouth. “As pathetic as it probably sounds, you took my breath away.” I leaned forward and rested my head on the side rail.
“Then I tracked you the rest of the night, at a safe distance of course. I watched you dance and laugh with the other guests. I figured you had to be with someone, until I saw you outside alone. I thought maybe I had a chance . . . but I didn’t. It was the first of many times I was jealous of Jack.”
Ellie swallowed and nodded before looking away.
“Jack mentioned you to me once.”
Her watery gaze swiveled back to mine.
“A couple of guys invited us to a party when he was visiting Evan one weekend. I asked him why he was the only one not speaking to any of the girls. He told me if I saw his girl, I would know why he never looked in anyone else’s direction. When Ididsee her, I understood completely. There’s no coming back from you, Ella-Jane.”
I took down the rail and climbed into the bed with her, and Ellie didn’t push me away. Instead, she burrowed into my chest as her shoulders shook with quiet sobs. Maybe they were for Jack or for me or maybe even both of us.
“I meant what I said. I need you in my life. Somehow. And whatever that test shows, that won’t change. I won’t pressure you either way. Any part of you that you’ll give me, I’ll be grateful for.” I kissed the back of her head.
Ellie lifted her head. Her eyes met mine, and a smile broke out through her tears.
“Te adoro mi vida.Did I say it right?”
My body went limp with relief. I grabbed her face brushed her lips with mine.
“You said it perfectly.”
THE TEST TOOKlonger than I imagined it would. The ER was packed, and most likely a silly little thing like a pregnancy test wasn’t a high priority. Unlike ours, their lives and plans for the future weren’t about to get knocked off their axis by whatever the results said.
The nausea didn’t let up even though my stomach was empty. I dry heaved into a bucket as Nick rubbed my back. I forgave him the second he walked into the bathroom and peeled me off the floor. He loved me enough to accept only what I could give him.
What he didn’t understand was that I did want everything with him. Having all this time all by my lonesome the past two weeks made that painstakingly clear. I really thought the sudden weakness and loss of appetite came from bone-deep sadness at first, not a virus. I didn’t know if I ever wanted to leave my house, but I envisioned the same future he did—the one that involved both of us climbing into the same bed every single night. I loved everything about Nick. I loved the playful soul with a heart bigger than his gorgeous body, and I adored the man who made me look forward to life again. But if that test was positive, he wouldn’t believe that. He’d think I wanted all of that with him now only because I was pregnant with his child. Why did things always have to be so damn complicated between us?
“Okay, sorry for the delay.” The doctor breezed in, reading the open file in his hands.
