“Perfect.” I beamed back. Nick swatted my hip before he lifted me off his lap.
“You don’t have to go right now.”
Nick cocked his head at me and narrowed his eyes. “The right way, remember?”
I let out a long sigh and nodded. “The right way.”
“See you tonight, sweetheart.” He gave me a chaste kiss before sauntering out the door.
I sat back on the couch, feeling lighter—maybe even a little happy. Was this what hope and excitement felt like?
I wasn’t sure, but for the first time in years, I wanted to give it a try.
I COULD NEVERpinpoint when my first date was with Jack. We met at a dance and were together ever since. There was no pressure of where to go or what to do; there was no “are we exclusive” conversation. We just alwayswere. I supposed I could call this whatever I was about to do with Nick as my very first, first date. I refused to count whatever that was with Chad. It should have made me more nervous than it did. I slipped on the same black shift dress I had on during our accidental but amazing dinner, this time pairing it with knee-high black stiletto boots. There was no way I’d come remotely close to Nick’s height, but maybe he would appreciate not having to bend over so far to kiss me. If he was planning to kiss me, that was. I wasn’t sure how many steps back we were taking tonight. All these months of longing from afar and stealing heated kisses combined with Nick seeing me half naked, putting his hand down my pants, and watching me drunkenly play with myself probably weren’t what Nick was referring to as “doing things the right way.” Oddly enough, all that took the pressure off. I still wasn’t sure what the hell I was doing, but at least I didn’t feel so guilty about it.
As I looked into the mirror to fasten my earrings, my engagement ring caught the light and made me stumble for a moment. Until now, I never had the inkling to take it off. What for? It wasn’t as if I planned to put myself on the market again. My husband had been gone for five years, and I never took his ring off. I twirled the emerald cut diamond ring and matching band around my ring finger one last time before I slowly slipped them off.
If I was finally opening myself up to Nick, I had to close myself off from someone else. I’d never be completely separate from Jack. A part of me would always be his. But I owed it to myself, and to Nick, if I was really moving on, to do it all the way. ‘Balls to the wall’ as Jack loved to say. He never did anything half-assed. I kissed the rings and placed them in my jewelry box.
My eyes clouded, but I didn’t cry. Maybe Kate was right. I fought moving on for so long because I didn’t think I was supposed to, not because I wasn’t ready. Judging by the way I moped through the past couple of weeks missing Nick and then drank myself into a stupor trying to forget him, I was losing the battle with myself to stay miserable.
Checking my hair and makeup one last time, I darted down the hallway when the doorbell rang.
My eyes wandered over Nick’s body when I opened the door. “You didn’t have to ring the bell. Beeping the horn would have been fine.” Black pants and a black jacket made him mouthwatering. I kinda liked his version of “the right way.”
“Um, no.” Nick took my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of my wrist. “Plus, picking you up at the door lessens the chance you’ll run before I can get you into the car. Just a precaution.”
A sad laugh fell from my lips. I had a terrible track record, and I didn’t blame him for being leery. I moved in closer and let my hands drift down his chest. “No running. Not tonight. Not anymore. Promise.”
“Are you taller or is it me?”
I chuckled and nodded. “I broke out the high heels tonight. Level things out a bit.”
Nick wrapped his arms around my waist. “Sweetheart, you’re only three apples high. Leveling isn’t possible, but it’s adorable that you tried.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and took my hand. “You’re little and gorgeous and all mine tonight. Ready?” He raised an eyebrow.
A grin spread across my face as I nodded. “Yes. I think I am.”
“This place is amazing. Where did you find it?” I yelled in Nick’s ear over the pulse of the bass. Nick had driven us over the bridge to a restaurant club in Hoboken. The food was delicious, the music was great, and I didn’t spot a single familiar face. I wasn’t ashamed of dating again, but the Bronx—and really all of New York City—was a lot smaller than people thought. I wanted to get my bearings with him without a gossiping audience, even though I was well aware of the whispers behind my back over the attention Nick paid to both Jack and me.
“One of the guys from the firehouse lives nearby and raves about this place. Food is good, and the crowd doesn’t make me feel like I should be home collecting social security.” I laughed and nodded my head. The crowd here was older than in the bars in our neighborhoods, and it was downright lovely when the bartender didn’t refer to me as ‘ma’am.’
“Dinner was great. Would you . . . nah forget it.” I waved my hand as I slurped the last of my cocktail.
“I find it pretty difficult to tell you no.” Nick inched toward me from his side of the round booth table. “Would I what?” Gooseflesh trailed down my neck at his husky chuckle in my ear.
“Would you want to dance?” I motioned to the club in the back. “The DJ sounds so good.”
Nick cocked his head. “You like to dance?”
I nodded. “I do. I made my sister take a salsa class with me once. I did pretty good but she got stuck with an old guy who kept stepping on her toes and grabbing her ass. Since then,” I frowned with an exaggerated shrug, “no one wants to dance with me.”
Nick paid the bill and stood from his seat. “I’d love to dance with you.” He extended his hand. “Let’s go, Ella-Jane.”
I took it and giggled as he dragged me into the club.
“How much do you remember from salsa class? Think you could keep up with me?” Nick raised an eyebrow, and I scowled in return.
“I had half a class, but I’ll do my best. Of course, you can dance. Is there anything you’re bad at?”
