“I . . . think about when you did this. You made me feel so good. I think about how hard you were, everywhere. I wanted to lick the ink on your arms. You’re so sexy. Do you want to touch me again?”Fucking hell.
“More than anything,” I whispered against her lips. “What else do you think about?” Her hands and hips moved faster. She must’ve been soaked. I wanted to touch her again more than I wanted my next breath, feel her warm pussy quiver around my fingers as she came, like that night on her couch. I wantedmyhand between her legs . . . or my mouth, or . . . this was getting dangerous. My willpower was depleting by the second.
“I think about you kissing me. When you kiss me, I don’t think about anything else or what I’m supposed to be feeling. There’s only you. I don’t want to be alone anymore, Nick. I want you so much, I want it to be okay to want you—”
I covered her mouth with mine, and she whimpered. I pulled away and ran my bottom lip along hers, smiling at the groan escaping her throat. “I want you so much I can’t even see straight. I want you to let go . . . just let itallgo, for me . . .Ella-Jane.”
She grabbed the back of my head and plunged her tongue into my mouth. Her body stiffened as her hips bucked off the bed.
Her head fell back onto the pillow as her lips curved in a small smile. Her breathing slowed as she fell into a deep sleep.
I sat on the edge of the bed and raked my hands down my face. This stopped now. Tomorrow morning, we would talk. Life and love was for the living, and there was no need to feel guilty about it. I needed to somehow make her see that.
I’d be back tomorrow morning for sure, right after I took the longest cold shower of my life.
SUN PEEKING THROUGHmy curtains sent a spear of pain across my eyes. My aching head felt like a thousand pounds as I lifted it off my pillow. My stomach was in surprisingly good shape considering the warped state of my head. I sat up on the bed and leaned into the headboard. I had intended to drink enough to forget, not black out. A chill ran over my body after I lifted the sheet away. I was in nothing but panties. Did poor Gina have to strip me last night? My lips turned up in a smile remembering my sexy dream. My favorite scene in Dirty Dancing, where Patrick Swayze, God rest his soul, and Jennifer Grey were in bed, and he grazed his bottom lip across hers. Even as a preteen, that scene gave me shivers. Only this time, I was Jennifer Grey instead of just watching her. Maybe I should drink more often if I got to live out my favorite movie love scenes in my dreams.
My phone buzzed on my nightstand, but thanks to my headache it sounded like drilling to my sensitive ears. My hazy vision read Gina’s name on my screen.
“Hey, girl. Sorry for last night.” My froggy voice sounded like Kathleen Turner with laryngitis.
“No worries.” Gina chuckled. “I’ve gotten blitzed in front of you more times than I care to remember. How are you feeling?”
“My head hurts, but my stomach is actually okay. Thanks for getting me home.”
“I didn’t get you home. I was going to, but as luck would have it, we ran into Nick. He insisted.”
“Nick?”I screamed into the phone and squinted at the searing pain caused by my own voice. My heart thumped in my ears as panic flooded my system. Memories from last night trickled back to the surface. Crying to Nick in his car, snuggling into his neck as he carried me up the stairs, Nick tucking me into bed and then . . .Oh. My. God. My breathing quickened as my hands shook. I stripped down to my underwear, took off my bra, and beckoned Nick into bed as I played with myself in front of him. He was Patrick Swayze and I was Jennifer Grey; the sexy graze kiss actually happened! This was bad. Horrible. Catastrophic.What the hell did I do?
“Gina, oh, my God. Oh, my God.” That was all I could say. Bad enough my horrific behavior kept running through my brain, verbalizing it made it too real for my weak system to comprehend.
“Did you guys . . . you know?”
“No! I mean I don’t remember. I don’t think so. I woke up with my panties on, but that’s it. Oh, Gina! The things I said, the things he saw. I just made everything a thousand times worse.” I groaned and draped my hand over my eyes, desperately willing last night’s events to magically disappear. My phone chimed with a text during my breakdown.
Nick: I got a ride to Ruby’s parking lot to get your car. I took your keys in case you were looking for them. Be there in twenty minutes.
“Gina, he’s on his way here. He picked up my car for me. I need to get into the shower quick. I’ll call you later?”
“You bet your ass you’re calling me later!”
I chuckled. I guessed if you weren’t living this nightmare, it was entertaining. “I will, don’t worry.”
“And Ellie, I met him for five minutes, but he seems like a good guy. Some asshole was trying to pull you away from the bar, and Nick looked like he was about to take his head off. I went through this when I met Dan and almost ruined everything, because I didn’t think there was anyone else for me but Leo. Don’t scare the good ones off. There are only so many.”
Finding a good guy was like catching lightning in a bottle; I knew that even at age sixteen when the first one came along. When Nick came over, I’d tell him everything and lay it on the line. I ran into my shower and put the water on as hot as I could stand it. What if it was too late? After the mixed signals and the hot mess I was last night, maybe he wasn’t interested anymore. Either way, it was time to find out.
After scrubbing my skin within an inch of its life, I wished I had more time to make myself presentable. Gazing into the mirror, I at least didn’t look half dead anymore—or not as bad as when I first woke up. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot. How much crying did I do last night? If I were Nick, I’d throw my keys back at me and say ‘see you when I see you.’ I headed into my living room and hoped for the best. The chime of the doorbell followed by the lock clicking brought me out of my thoughts.
“Hey. How are you feeling?” Nick tossed my keys on my hallway table after he strolled through the door.
I offered a sheepish smile and shrug. “Better than I probably deserve. Thank you for taking me home. And getting my car. Saved me a call to my sister.” My eyes darted to his then back to the floor. No, I needed to not be a skittish basket case in his presence anymore.
Nick let out a long sigh. “I couldn’t leave you there. Gina said she’d take you home, but you were in pretty bad shape. I needed to make sure you were safe.”
“Occupational hazard? Needing to keep people safe?” I let out a nervous chuckle.
Nick didn’t laugh with me. I instead got a scowl in return. “Maybe. Needing to keepyousafe has nothing to do with my job. I wanted to take care of you, even if you always fight me about it.”
