“I do,” I promise, but it felt hollow. And as my phone buzzes in my hand with athanks, I don’t know what I’d do without youtext, and a little girl turns to look over her shoulder and smiles at me from across the salon, I know it’s because it was a lie.
FOURTEEN
A week after my date with Emma, life has somehow settled into a sense of normalcy. Every day after school, Hallie meets her when she gets off the bus at the farm's entrance, and they chat as they walk up to the house, where they make sure Emma gets her homework done and then make dinner together. Most nights, I’m able to convince her to stay and eat with us, and a few times after I’ve gotten Emma to bed, she’s stayed to hang out, watch a movie, or chat about everything and nothing.
It’s like I have my friend back, and even though the road to get here was bumpy as fuck, I’m glad we made it here.
On Saturday, Emma has a sleepover at a friend’s house, so I drop her off around noon and then head back home, feeling unsure of what to do with myself for the next twenty-four hours. I rarely have a weekend without Emma, and knowing I have the entire house to myself suddenly feels daunting. I didn’t tell my family that Emma would be gone, desperate for some quiet time and knowing if they knew, it would be filled with well-meaning visits. I’m still trying to think of what to do and how to spend my time when I step out of my truck and see it: footprints in the snow.
Familiar footprints with a star design that I fuckingknowwere not meant to be walking in the light dusting of snow we got overnight, much less in the deeper snow on farmland that might be hiding anything from holes to ice. Looking around, I note that they go straight into the woods, and my mind starts reeling, moving to dangerous territory. Thoughts of Hallie having slipped or gotten her foot stuck somewhere deep in the woods, where she has no cell service to call for help, flood me.
Without thinking, I follow the footprints out into the woods on a mission.
Thankfully, it only takes me about five minutes to find her, and even though she didn’t go far, I’m still frustrated by the time I make it to her. “Hallie!” I call when I see her crouched in the snow, seemingly unmoving
Maybe my nerves weren’t so unfounded. Maybe she’s hurt, maybe she fell, maybe?—
A bird flies off, and a low curse comes from her direction as I continue storming toward her and she stands.
“Jesus, Jesse, could you be louder?” she asks, standing, her phone in hand, and glaring at me as I close the distance between us. Well, at least she’s not injured, I suppose.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Iwastaking a picture of a cardinal in the snow, but then you scared it off like the giant ogre you are.”
“Ogre?” I ask with a laugh. She continues to glare at me, though its burn isn’t as effective with the way her full lips are tipping at the edges.
“Yeah…you’re like, fifteen feet tall and built like a lumberjack. An ogre. A hot ogre, but an ogre.”
I shake my head as I slow my steps before her. “I think an ogre is inherently ugly.”
“I’m sorry. Next time I compare you to a mythical creature, I’ll try to think of something more accurate.”
I let out a laugh, then look around.
“You’re out here in the freezing cold to take pictures?” I ask. Despite her inappropriate footwear, she’s dressed warm, with a hat, gloves, and a thick jacket, so it seems she came out intentionally rather than being lost and needing a rescue.
“Yes. Half of my job is posting pictures to the farms’ accounts. And I like to take pictures. When it’s all snowy like this, it’s extra pretty.”
I remember Madden saying he’d take her out on the UTV if she wanted to last week, and I nod, then speak without thinking.
“All right. Well, come on. I’ll take you out,” I say, and she gives me a skeptical look.
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll take you around the property on the UTV. You do that with Madden sometimes, right?” She lifts an eyebrow, head tipping to the side. Her long red hair is in a braid, sliding along her jacket, with small locks sticking out around her face, framing it.
“Don’t you have work today?”
“It’s Saturday. I don’t really work much on the weekend, since I try to spend time with Emma, but she’s out for a sleepover, so I have nothing else to do.”
“That’s kind of depressing,” she says, and I lift a shoulder and tip my head for her to follow me toward the house. When she follows, I respond.
“That’s me, depressing and boring.”
“I don’t buy that,” she says under her breath, but I don’t say anything because I don’t knowwhatto say. Instead, we walk in silence for a few minutes as we make our way back to my house. During that time, Hallie’s phone buzzes a few times, and when I come back outside with the keys, her head is hunched over her phone, an annoyed look on her face. As I approach, her phonedings with another incoming text, and she makes an annoyed grumble this time.
“Who’s texting you?” I ask with a laugh, and her head lifts to glare at me.
