Chapter One
Jenny
How did I get here? I avert my eyes once again from the pile of people writhing around on literally every flat, and actually, not flat, surface available. There are so many different configurations of people and limbs and pairings that it is all kind of hurting my head a little bit.
This will definitely go down in the Dating Hall of Fame’s book as the worst first date ever.
That’s right. The guy my aunt set me up with took me to an orgy on our first date. At least he took me to dinner first?
To be honest, the orgy is at least slightly better than the dinner had been. Chad and I have absolutely nothing in common. Example: he goes to orgies, I’ve never had sex.
I try desperately not to make eye contact with anyone. If I make eye contact, am I going to have to join in?
By the way, if anyone ever asks, the smell at an orgy is just about the worst thing ever. A weird combination of sweat, lube, sex, and latex. But at least they are practicing safe sex.
A girl being eaten out by two different guys inches a little closer to me, and I try to back as far against the wall as I possibly can. Would it be possible to actually meld with this wallpaper? Never mind. God only knows how much DNA is on these walls.
I think I might throw up.
“So, what do you think?” Chad leans over, his hot breath making my ear sweat.
I want to scoot away from him, but that would put me closer to the guy getting pegged by who I think might be his wife, while she is getting screwed in the ass by another guy. “Ummm, I thought you said we were going to a house party?”
“Yeah, this is the best house party there is in the tristate area.” He looks at me as if I’m dumb. Which in turn makes me want to throat punch him.
“This isn’t really my type of thing.” I look at the ceiling, thinking that must be a safe zone. But nope. No, not safe at all. The whole ceiling is tiled in mirrors. Ew. Ewewewew. “Do you think we could go, please?”
“You can’t be serious. I’ve been on the waiting list to get in here for months. I’m not passing this up for anything.” As he talks, Chad starts peeling off his shirt, revealing his pale skin inch by inch. Before I know it, Chad is no longer beside me but wading into the deep end of the waters without even a glance back at me.
Is it weird that I’m relieved? Not necessarily that I have been abandoned at a sex party, but just to be rid of my so-called date?
Shit. I knew I should have driven myself.
This place is in the middle of freaking nowhere. I mean, no wonder. Orgies are freaking loud. I hope this place is soundproofed. I highly doubt Uber comes out here. I should call my aunt to come pick me up. It serves her right. Never again will I let her set me up.
I don’t need to be dating anyway. Between school, work, and volunteering, my plate is overflowing. But she kept insisting I would turn out to be a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start going out more, and to be honest, the thought does scare me. I don’t want to be a virgin forever.
But I also really don’t want to be here. With a deep breath that I immediately regret, I pull my purse closer, searching through it for my phone. Once I pluck it out of the depths of my bag, I text my roommate. Monique will definitely be awake because she studies just as much as I do.
Me: You know how you always say you’d give me your firstborn for coffee in the morning? How about you give me a ride home instead, and I’ll make the coffee every morning for the rest of the term?
After sending the message, I take a look around. The place is actually pretty nondescript. From the outside it looked like one of those metal barns that can be built overnight. The naked people occupying every inch make it hard to notice much about the decor, but it seems to be the latest in orgy chic. The drop ceiling is all mirrors, the couches are fake leather or vinyl (the better to disinfect I assume), and there are two huge beds on opposite ends. I can’t tell what the bedding situation is because they are both so full of people. Hopefully, they have waterproof sheets though. The walls seem to be some sort of cheap plywood as opposed to actual drywall, and I tap on the wall behind me to check. Yup, I could probably pry the gaudy red boards off with my bare hands. My dad would be ashamed at the shoddy workmanship in this place. You know. After he stopped having a coronary over his baby girl being in the middle of a sex party.
Finally, the phone clutched in my hand rings with my text notification. A few of the people around me stop to look when the Meow Mix theme song starts playing. Yeah, I really like cats. Sue me.
Monique: That bad?
Me: Worse. Please come get me.
I open my map and send her my current location. There is literally nothing around us, but hopefully, she should be able to find it with her GPS.
Monique: Jesus, did he take you camping or something?
Me: WORSE
Monique: What is worse than camping? On my way.
Closing out of my texts, I consider what I should do while I wait for my knight in shining yoga pants. The only other door besides the exit behind me is on the other side of the cavernous room and the sea of moaning people.
