“By the way, Evanne,” Lumen continued as if this was just another parent-teacher conference, making me wonder if this was as surreal to her as it was to me. “You did very well on your Lewis and Clark timeline. I just marked it.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. I’m very impressed. You must have worked hard.”
Evanne gave me a little sideways look. “Well, my dad helped a little.”
“That’s okay,” Lumen said, azure eyes sparkling as she stole a glance at me. “It’s good to ask for help when you need it. I know you didn’t cheat because it’s in your handwriting, and there were some rather creative spellings of the word ‘expedition.’”
I cleared my throat and joined the conversation before discussion of prior homework could go any further. “Things are going well? Grades, behavior, everything? Aside from the tendency to run when she should walk, of course.” I winked at Evanne to let her know that while I was serious about her behaving in school, I wasn’t going to yell at her about something as small as rushing.
“Very well.” Lumen kept her eyes on Evanne. “I hope you keep up the good work!”
Evanne looked like she was going to explode from happiness, and some of the pressure in my chest eased. It was a relief to know that the sudden shift in custody hadn’t messed Evanne up. My biggest fear when Keli had told me she was pregnant was that I’d do something to hurt my child.
“Aye, that’s good to hear. Still, there must be places we can improve,” I said.
Lumen nodded, her gaze lightly touching my face before flitting away. “As I noted, spelling sometimes needs another check. I usually encourage parents to spell the word out loud, then have their child repeat it, then write it. Everyone has different learning styles.”
I wondered how much better I would have been in school if I’d had a teacher like Lumen. Then again, if I’d had a teacher like her after I’d discovered how much I liked girls, I probably wouldn’t have gotten any work done at all. She definitely would’ve been a distraction.
“We’ve discussed the running in the halls, but there are other areas where we’ve also been discussing patience. These are always lessons that can be reinforced at home.” Here Lumen sent a gentle but pointed look toward Evanne, who looked down at her hands. “For example, Evanne always wants to be at the front of every line and the first out the door for recess. Do you remember what we said about that?”
“‘It’s okay to be competitive, but you have to let other people be ahead of you sometimes,’” Evanne recited primly. “‘And save the sprinting for the race track.’”
Lumen laughed, and Evanne beamed. These two really were getting on well. It was great to see.
“We’ll work on those things,” I said as I reached over to put my hand on Evanne’s head. “Won’t we,mo chride?”
“I’ll try my best,” Evanne promised.
This was one issue I had to own. Nearly all of my siblings were competitive, and I was the worst of us all. I knew it was why I was such a workaholic now. I had to be the best, accomplish the most. Not necessarily to show others how much I’d achieved, but to prove to myself what I could do.
“Do you have electronic copies of these files?” I asked. “I find it beneficial to have both electronic and hard copies, so I have backups.”
“Of course,” Lumen said. “I can get your email address from the school files and send that to you right away.”
I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out one of my business cards. “Here’s my card. It has my email on it. If that’s easier.”
My sentence cut off abruptly as I realized I was on the brink of calling herlass. I didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, including me. We would be seeing plenty of each other over the school year, and I wanted us to be able to talk without either of us feeling weird about it.
Talk about Evanne, of course. That and polite small talk. We didn’t need to have a conversation about anything else. We’d already said everything we needed to say.
And as I smiled at Lumen, and she smiled back, I told myself that was all for the best. For everyone.
Twenty
Lumen
The first manI’d ever slept with was my favorite student’s father.
That sounded like the beginning of a really bad porn flick. Or maybe a really good country song.
It definitelywasn’twhat I’d wanted for a strings-free, fun first time.
Fuck my life.
I was so thrown off by what’d happened that I forgot several of my books at the classroom in my rush to talk to Mai and get some clarity. It wasn’t until after we’d talked – and had some serious ice cream – that I’d gone to put away my things and realized that the books I needed were sitting in my desk. Eventually, I was sure I’d know the curriculum enough that the plans would practically write themselves. I was too new to this right now though.
