“Yes,” she said right away. Then she rose to her elbows and amended, “I mean, no. I mean…”
I took off my belt and waited for her to finish, hoping she could get to it before my hard-on ripped a hole in my favorite pair of dress pants.
“I…” Her pupils were blown wide, her lips swollen, and she looked undeniably fuckable. “I mean…you…if you could…take it easy…”
“It’ll be a mite tough to ‘take it easy’ when I’m this hard,” I chuckled, pulling down my zipper.
“Please,” she said. “I’m…I’m…”
I hooked my pants and briefs with my thumbs, pausing when the slight edge of anxiety in her voice caught my attention.
I was glad I’d waited when she blurted out, “I’m a virgin.”
Fifteen
Lumen
Alec stopped cold. “You’re a what?”
Shit. I should have handled that better. Then again, considering that it’d just come flying out of my mouth without a thought, pretty much any way of handling it would’ve been better.
I could see him thinking, trying to decide if he should start putting his clothes back on, and if he’d be able to do it without insulting me in some way. He was also clearly trying to hide the panic in his eyes because he didn’t want to be one of ‘those guys.’
“It’s okay,” I said calmly, wanting to put him at ease. How strange was it that our roles had reversed with just a single question?Mereassuringhim.
“Are you…? I mean…I…Fuck.”
I sat up, resisting the urge to cover myself. If I gave him the slightest hint that I wasn’t all right with what we’d done so far, he’d completely freak out, I had no doubt. And that meant I’d lose the opportunity to do this my way, with the man of my choice.
“Hear me out, please.” I kept my tone even. “I’m not…I mean, it’s not a religious thing or anything weird, or even a big deal, I just haven’t had sex with anyone. But I want to have sex with you. Tonight. Now.”
I didn’t know how I could make it any clearer.
“Fuck, Lumen, I…” He still didn’t seem to know what to say, but he’d at least gotten some color back in his face, which I was fairly certain meant he wasn’t going to have a heart attack.
“I’m not being coerced into anything,” I said with a smile, hoping to ease the negative tension that had overtaken the positive. “I’m an educated, intelligent woman, Alec. I knew where this night would lead. I want to be here. With you.” A thought occurred to me. Something else he might have been worried about. “I’m not asking anything more of you than I’d agreed to when you asked me out. Fun. This is fun.”
There was something else I could try. Something to convince him that I wasn’t going to run away like I had before.
I placed my hands on my breasts, letting my fingers slide over my nipples, feel how hard they’d gotten from Alec’s hands and mouth.
“What are you doing, lass?”
Damn, I loved that accent. He could read a cookbook, and it’d turn me on.
“Please, Alec,” I breathed as I slid one hand down my stomach to the space between my legs. I was soaking wet, the skin sensitive to the lightest touch. “Don’t make me have to take care of this myself.”
His eyes fell to where my fingers were lightly stroking, and a moment later, I heard the condom wrapper crinkle. I opened my eyes, hardly aware I’d closed them. He tossed the condom onto the bed next to me, his gaze never leaving me, though it roamed across my body as if he couldn’t quite decide where he wanted to look more.
When he began to lower his pants and underwear together, I understood how he felt. I wanted to keep watching his face, seeing all the nuances shift as he watched me touch myself, but I also wanted –needed– to see what had been hiding under the towel that day we’d first met.
My eyes dropped, following the trail of fine curls, the deep v-grooves at his hips. He didn’t rush, giving me the time to change my mind, I supposed. I used it to enjoy each inch of skin revealed. Technically, I knew what I’d eventually see. I hadn’t studied anything medical, but I’d taken enough biology to know what a man’s penis looked like, even aroused.
Still, the sight of that thick shaft emerging from beneath his black cotton briefs was enough to make me catch my breath. Thick and long…oh, so long. Much longer than I’d expected, even after remembering how impressive it had appeared under the towel.
Wow.
I hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much.
