Everyone is acting cavalier toward me as if nothing happened. Maybe the rumor mill isn’t so bad once you get out of high school. I can only compare it to that, since I’ve mostly stayed to myself in adulthood.
To the point where Jon didn’t even know who I was until he promoted me.
I enjoy being invisible sometimes. But not now.
No one in my family has talked to me since that day. I’ve left countless voicemails and sent a million messages, but there’s nothing but silence on their end. I know why, and I can’t blame them, but deep down, I hoped they wouldn’t be so quick to write me off completely.
My heart feels as if it’s shattering with every unanswered call. I thought family was supposed to be stronger than this. Hell, how many times did we all forgive Karl for his screwups?
He was arrested for vandalism in high school, snuck out to countless parties and got escorted home in a police car, even damaged my father’s car one day when he and his friend wanted to jump speed bumps in the empty grocery store parking lot.
Granted, there wasn’t much to do unless we traveled to the city, but I never got into trouble. So why are they being so hard on me?
If that wasn’t enough to drag me down into the dumps, I’ve been feeling off. Tired, nauseous, just all around, not myself. The timing couldn’t be worse because I can’t afford to get sick right now.
With the year wrapping up, Jon needs me to be in good health to help land these clients and meet the deadline and goal.
But, for the sake of helping, I have to push through, as I’ve been doing the last few days, and work in Jon’s office. I’ve been sorting papers and getting proposals ready for the meetings all day. It hasn’t been easy keeping my spirits up lately, but my job means everything to me, and I can’t let a fight with my family ruin my life.
“Are you alright?” Jon asks, and it pulls me out of my train of thought. In all honesty, I’m not alright, not in the slightest. My family hates me, and I feel like every part of my life and body is falling apart around me, and I can’t seem to grasp any of it.
But I can’t let him know this. As much as I care about him, he will only try to fix things, and this is entirely my own mess to clean up.
“I’m okay,” I lie. “Just trying to focus and get these done so we can stay on track.” With the best forced smile I can muster up, I take the stack of papers back out to my desk to start typing the proposals.
I know Jon can see right through my bullshit, but what is talking about it going to do? I have to get through until the new year, and then maybe I can start trying to repair everything I ruined.
The clock finally hits five, and I practically run out of the office to my car. The hours dragged on, and now the only thing I want to do is go home and lie down until all of this is over.
I don’t even say goodbye to Jon before I’m in my car and pulling out of the parking garage.
I haven’t been this excited to see my apartment building since Dani and I moved out of our parents’ houses and in here together.
Throwing my car keys in my purse after I lock the doors, I run inside and start climbing the stairs.
To my surprise, when I walk through the front door, Dani is sitting on the couch, doing some work on her computer.
“Oh,” I exclaim. “I wasn’t expecting you home. Normally, you’re out with Chase.”
She looks up from her computer. “Yeah, but I have a ton of work to get done before the new year. The boss is really riding me. God, you look terrible.”
Giggling low, I set my things down on the counter in the kitchen. “Oh, gee. Thanks.”
“You know what I mean,” she replies, closing her laptop. “What’s going on? I haven’t seen you this distraught since finals week in high school.”
Sighing, I collapse next to her on the couch. “I just feel awful. I’m exhausted, I feel nauseous, and I really can’t keep any food down. I hope I’m not getting sick. I can’t afford that on top of everything else going on.”
I put my head on her shoulder and curl up. “Yeah. Sounds rough,” she says. She places a hand on my forehead. “No fever…Could you be pregnant?” She lets out a laugh, but my head shoots up from off her shoulder, and I glare at her.
“Don’t even joke about that,” I snip. But the longer I sit and let the idea stew in my brain, the worse my stomach turns. There’s no way I could be…right?
“Well, maybe it’s not a joke. I mean, you two have been having sex, and I’m sure you aren’t always careful…Maybe I should go grab you a test. At least it will rule that out.”
I sit on the couch, fully stunned that the idea hasn’t crossed my mind. Thinking back, there wasn’t one time that we used protection. How could I be so reckless?
They were all in the heat of the moment and not planned, but that is no excuse.
Before I can interject, Dani stands and grabs her keys. “Be back in a jiffy.” I watch with my mouth gaping as she rushes out of the apartment, and I’m left alone with the possibility running through my mind.
