“Leah is working part time until the twins arrive, then she’ll have to stop, and I’m happy for her. Being a mum is her dream. As for Pen, Eli is selling Frazer Cyber Security for a career change, which will see him working from home.”
“There are child minders, nannies,” I say. “Maybe your husband would want to stay at home?”
She frowns.
“Why would I bring a child into the world to never be there for it? I work crazy hours, and I’m always travelling. Any child would end up thinking their nanny is their mother.” She pauses. “As I said, my job is my baby. FHG is all-consuming.”
“Okay, no kids,” I say, realising I’ve hit a sore point. “But what about a life partner?”
She stops, before turning to stare at me wide-eyed, her eyebrows raised almost to her hairline.
“You seem very interested in my personal life.”
I shrug. “I’m trying to understand the woman you’ve become.”
Kat continues walking.
“I have yet to meet a man who can accept or handle my success,” she says. “Unless I meet someone who can accept me for who I am, then I’d rather be on my own.”
Did Zach have an issue with her success? Has she tried dating other men?
In his letter, he insinuated she was never at home, was married to her job. He used it as part of his excuse as to why he ended up in bed with Darra. There were so many excuses.
You never loved me, it was always him. I’m sorry I ruined that for you.
A sharp pain spears my chest as Zach’s words echo around my head.
I remember Pen joking about how men found her success intimidating.
Is Kat the same?
“Aren’t you lonely?”
I know I’m entering dangerous territory. How are you going to feel if she tells you she has a string of lovers waiting on the sideline?
We stop on the jetty and look down into the water below. We watch a stingray trying to bury itself in the sand beneath us. Brightly coloured fish are swimming around it.
“Are you?” she asks, turning my question back at me.
“Yes,” I admit honestly. Kat raises her eyebrows.
Splitting my life between London and New York has made holding down a long-term relationship difficult, if not impossible.
“I hate the thought of growing old on my own, not having someone to share life’s adventures with.”
I think back to Mary and Philip, and their fifty years of shared memories.
Kat wraps her arms around her stomach.
“I’m not alone. I have my family, friends, nieces and nephews, my staff.”
“That’s not the same, and you know it,” I say. “What about intimacy? Physical need? You can’t get that from those people.”
Kat stays silent as we continue our walk back to the villa. She unlocks the door, pushing it open. I follow her inside and watch as she drops her bag onto the cot bed.
“True,” she says, turning to face me, her arms folded over her chest. “But withintimacycomes trust.” She sighs. “If I get it wrong, I might find my face plastered all over the tabloids. A one-night stand and I’m easy, if I get into a relationship, someone has defrosted theicequeen.”
Trust.
