Swallowing, a little dazed, I obey him. While I’m munching on a piece of perfectly crispy bacon, I glance at him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Whatever you want,” he replies easily, pouring syrup on a pancake.
“What do you get out of your style of dominance?” I ask curiously. “I don’t know much about kink, only what I’ve read and heard from one of my roommates. I understand that people who are dominant in bed are usually focused on the reactions of their submissives, but that often takes the form of hurting them, then following it up with a few orgasms. You forgo the former and put all the focus on the latter. Why?”
Dorian exhales a deep breath, brows furrowing. “It’s a combination of things for me, I think,” Dorian says. “First of all, I don’t get off on causing pain, even if the person I’m with enjoys it. Second of all, I guess there’s an element of pride. Few men actually know how to satisfy their female partners—your bodies and pleasure mechanisms are a lot more complicated than ours. It takes focus and practice to please you. I’m competitive, so I guess my kink really started with me wanting to be the best in bed I could possibly be. Then, I realized thatI was both fascinated andreallyturned on by controlling my partner’s pleasure. When they get to come, how many times they get to come. I liked making all the decisions. A submissive’s responses to too much or not enough pleasure were extremely erotic, so I started playing around more. I’ve never been with someone who fascinates me as much as you, though. You take arousing to a whole new level—you’re fucking ethereal when you come and when you beg."
I feel my cheeks burn as I glance away. Dorian takes my chin in his hand and gently guides me to watch him once again. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he says firmly. “It’s okay to enjoy it. Iwantyou to enjoy it.”
“It just seems selfish on my part,” I murmur. “You didn’t come last night. Only I did. How is that fair?”
“It’s fair because watching you come, being the reason for it, was hotter to me than you getting me off,” he says simply. “I enjoyed what you did this morning, but I would’ve liked it even more ifIhad wokenyouup to a solid half hour of teasing you with an orgasm before giving you several. I’m not like most other men; what really arouses me is different. Sucking and fucking is fine, but it doesn’t titillate me as much as what I did last night, knowing what Icando to you. Don’t feel selfish; ultimately, I’m still doing whatIwant to do, and you enjoying it is part of the package. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper, still struggling to comprehend how making me come can be more satisfying to Dorian than coming himself.
He raises a fork to my lips. “Open.”
I part them, allowing him to feed me a slice of fluffy, sweet, delicious pancake drenched in the perfect amount of syrup. After I’ve chewed and swallowed, I say, “I’m not a child. You don’t need to feed me.”
“But youaremine, and I like taking care of you,” Dorian replies. “If you don’t want me to hand-feed you, just say so.”
My cheeks heat again. “I… think I like it.”
He smiles. “Good.”
The rest of breakfast is spent in comfortable silence. Dorian eats quick bites in between feeding me, holding my chin, stroking my cheeks, watching me with the utmost attention. Once we’re done, he stacks the plates and hands me my coffee. I sip it for several minutes before forcing myself to address the elephant in the room.
“About me being yours…”
Dorian glances at me. “Yes?”
“I’m not. Not really, or at least not permanently. You know that, right?”
He shrugs. “It’s true for now, and honestly, I hope it’ll keep being true for a long time.”
I open my mouth to argue the point, then seal my lips, scrambling for a coherent way to word my thoughts. “I get that you like me, and I like you too, but we’re really not sustainable. What I said yesterday—”
Dorian cuts me off by pressing a finger against my lips. “Listen to me, Mira, and please listen well. I don’t likehavingto say this, frankly it’s fucking offensive, but I understand you need to hear it. I amnothinglike your piece of shit stepfather. The men I work with arenothinglike your piece of shit stepfather. The organization I’m a part of isnothinglike the organization he’s in.”
I tilt my head back, and his fingers slide from my lips. Apprehension and fear tightens my gut as I gaze at him. “How do you know?” I question softly. “You know nothing about him. You don’t know all that much aboutme,despite whatever background check you might’ve run.”
“People are looking into your stepfather on my behalf; I’m digging into him.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t kill an enemy I don’t know.”
My coffee cup freezes halfway to my lips. My eyes widen as I meet Dorian’s gaze, which swims with dark intentions. I fear I must’ve misheard him, but his response leaves little room for doubt. He intends to kill mystepfather?
“Why?” I whisper.
Dorian’s jaw ticks. “Because he hurt a girl he should’ve protected. A girl who, against all odds, grew into a magnificent woman that I have decided to claim. A woman who is fighting my claim because of the things she saw under his care.” His features twist. “Not care, more likereign.He hurt you, which means he will die.” Dorian blinks slowly. “I think I’d be willing—more,eagerto kill anyone who wanted to hurt you.”
I swallow thickly, my breath catching, and take a sip of coffee to distract myself from the warm feelings burrowing their way into my chest. Dorian wants to killforme. The notion should be gruesome and a complete turn-off. It should scare me away,especiallyconsidering my upbringing. But it doesn’t.
In the animal kingdom, the patriarchs or matriarchs of the strongest clans, packs, and prides will kill to keep their own safe, and among the species who mate for life, they’ll kill any animal that comes sniffing around their mate.
In the real world, killing for love might be frowned upon, but sometimes it’s justified. My stepfather is a man who should have died long ago; he should’ve died instead of my mother when his house was broken into years ago. He’s a stain upon this world, and I’ve wished him dead more times than I could count, though I’ve never had the power to execute him myself.
