“Maybe you could take me camping one day,” he said. “I’ve never been.”
“Best offer I’ve ever gotten,” I replied simply.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MYLO
I was scrubbingdishes in Holden’s kitchen, the soapy water turning lukewarm as I worked my way through the last of the plates. The soft clink of glass against the ceramic sink was the only sound around me, but my mind was far from quiet. No, it was running a full marathon of overthinking, and I couldn’t help it.
My brain kept replaying those moments—Holden trying to tell me something, his voice cracking, the way he looked at me, like he was holding the world’s biggest secret. And I kept wondering what on earth it could be. I wanted to let it go—maybe I could’ve been more patient if it wasn’t for everyone else. The knowing glances, the way people went quiet when I walked into a room, like they all knew something I didn’t.
I rinsed off a mug, setting it on the rack to dry. The pit in my stomach? Yeah, it was the size of the Grand Canyon by now. It twisted, gnawed at me every time I saw Holden—every time we kissed, every time he looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off, with no idea when or how bad the damage would be.
I shook the water off my hands, drying them on a dish towel as I replayed my conversation with Noah. I’d tried talking tohim, hoping he’d spill something—anything—that would make me feel less crazy.
“Noah, just... tell me what it is. Please,” I had said, my voice practically cracking with frustration.
He’d looked at me, then away, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Mylo, it’s not my place.”
“Not your place?” I’d laughed, but it wasn’t funny—not even a little bit. “Come on. You know what this is doing to me, right? I feel like I’m on the outside, like I’m not even part of this whole thing. Everyone knows, Noah. Everyone except me.”
Noah had sighed, reaching out like he was about to touch my arm but thinking better of it. “He’ll tell you. When he’s ready, he will. You just have to trust him.”
Trust. Right. I’d nodded, swallowing down that awful feeling—the one that tasted like betrayal and fear.
I put the towel down, leaning against the counter, staring out the window at the evening light filtering through the trees. I’d trusted Chuck once, and the rug had been pulled out from under me.
And I wanted to trust Holden… but he always looked so guilty whenever the subject came up. The one thing I hated more than anything was feeling left out of the loop, like I was standing outside in the rain, watching everyone else warm and happy inside.
I let out a sigh, pushing away from the counter. Now, my imagination had officially gone off the rails. Was Holden hiding some dark secret? Was he a serial killer? A part of some weird cult? Or—and this one made my stomach churn—maybe he had a secret family somewhere.
It wouldn’t have been this bad if I hadn’t known there was a secret. But knowing, and not knowing what it was? That was torture.
And it sucked, because Holden was so perfect. He treated me like I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I’d barely even gone back to my cabin since he came back. And somehow, that only made it worse. If it was nothing, why couldn’t he just tell me?
“You could be overreacting,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head.
But even though I wanted to ignore the elephant in the room and just keep living in this bliss Holden and I had found, I couldn’t. So I grabbed my phone, drying my hands one more time before shooting a message to Tyler. We’d kept in touch since I moved, and I’d recently filled him in about Chuck and everything else.
Me: Hey, you around?
Tyler: Always. What’s up?
Me: Just… trying not to lose my mind.
Tyler: Uh oh. Holden trouble?
Me: Yeah, everything’s good. Like, really good... except for this one huge, frustrating, soul-crushing thing.
Tyler: Spill. What’s he doing?
Me: It’s not what he’s doing. It’s what he isn’t doing. There’s this secret, Ty. Something he won’t tell me, but everyone else seems to know about it.
Tyler: Wait, like a huge secret? What kind of secret are we talking here? Secret baby? Secret wife?
Me: Could be. I honestly don’t know. He keeps saying he’ll tell me when he’s “ready.” But how am I supposed to be with someone when there’s this big thing hanging over us?
Tyler: Yeah, that’s... weird. Are you sure it’s not something small and he’s just being dramatic?
