He’d seen his friends with their mates, and it just looked so easy. He didn’t want to be away from Ryder. They were supposed to be a unit like every other fated mates couple he’d seen in Wildwood. So if that wasn’t the case, then why stick around and wait for something that might never be.
Maybe Ryder saw him as too damaged? The thought hurt his heart so much he closed his eyes and had to breathe in and out to catch his breath.
What good did it do, sitting there and wallowing, when maybe Ryder ’simply didn’t know he was ready … but what could he…
Decision made Jax stood up, left the living room, and headed to the kitchen. He stopped a couple of steps from the kitchen. And turned back.
What the hell are you thinking? Do you even know what you’re going to say?
Maybe he should just leave things as they were. But he didn’t want to.Fuck it.He turned back and headed for the kitchen, again. When he entered, it was to find Ryder sitting at the kitchen table on his tablet.
“I thought you were making dinner.” He couldn’t help the accusatory tone in his voice. Did his mate not want to be around him so much so that he made an excuse to leave the room?
Ryder jumped up and faced him. “What?”
“You heard me,” Jax retorted. “Do you hate being around me so much that you had to lie so we wouldn’t be in the same room?”
Surprise flashed across Ryder’s face, and he took a step towards Jax, then stopped.
“How can you even ask that?” A look crossed the alpha’s face, but it was gone before he could pin it down. “I could never hate you.”
Jax sighed. Okay, maybe that was going too far, but Ryder was his mate, and he was tired of being treated like a patient. A special one, but a patient nonetheless.
“I think we need to talk.”
Ryder nodded. “I agree. We do.”
Jax swallowed. “Let me go first.”
Ryder simply nodded again.
“You’ve been great letting Tabby and me come live with you. I know it’s had to have been a burden for you, going from living alone to having a child in your place. Taking over all the nightly feedings when I couldn’t … I know you weren’t expecting any of that.”
Maybe that was it; Tabby was more than Ryder could ignore. What alpha wanted another alpha’s child? His wolf and his heart said Ryder wasn’t like that. But he couldn’t help it, his mind kept going there.
“It wasn’t a burden.” Ryder was quick to deny. “I was happy to. In fact, that’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Jax held up his hand. “Please, let me finish.”
Ryder nodded. “You’ve been great. Amazing really,” he added. “And I will forever be indebted to you. But I’m doing better now, and I don’t want to overstay my welcome now that I’m out of the woods and feeling stronger every day.” His throat got tighter with each word. “I think we should accept the fact that I’m better, and that means I need to go back home. It’s the right thing to do. So, that’s all I wanted to say.”
Jax wanted to kick himself the moment he was done. He hadn’t planned to say any of that. He didn’t want to leave.
“You don’t have to leave. I never said you were a burden.” Ryder took a step towards him, then stopped, “Have I done anything to make you feel that way? If I have, please, I’m sorry. I want you and Tabby here. I lo—have grown fond of Tabby, and I can’t imagine you guys not being here. It’s not necessary.”
With every word that Ryder said, Jax’s heart dropped. He was fond of Tabby? He wanted them there …? Jax’s heart fell to his stomach. He realized a part of him had been hoping that Ryder would say he needed them or something along those lines.
Jax swallowed and forced the words out. “I’ve made up my mind, and you’re not going to be able to change it.” He took a step back, needing to be out of there.
Jax spun around and hurried for the door when Ryder called out to him. “Jax, please … Don’t go.”
He didn’t turn. “I think it’s for the best. I don’t belong here,” he said. “Tabby and I both don’t. We need to get back to normal. Just the two of us.”
“But what if something happens? Your incision is still healing. No, I won’t hear of it.”
Jax turned and glared at Ryder. “You won’t hear of it? It’s my life, and if I want to take Tabby and return to our house, then I will do just that.”
“No. I won’t let you take my family and leave me.” Ryder closed the gap between them before Jax could even gather his thoughts about what he’d just said. Ryder pulled him into his arm and sealed their lips together in a kiss that stole his breath and caught Jax off guard. He froze for a second before opening for Ryder. His alpha deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into Jax’s mouth. He groaned as Ryder’s tongue touched his. But before he knew it, it was over.
