Jax and Ryder put Tabby down to sleep together. Ryder noticed Jax hovering over her, but he didn’t blame him. Both Jax and Tabby had been through a lot, and his mate just wanted to make sure Tabby was okay. So did Ryder. But it was also his job to make sure Jax was okay.
Jax finally managed to pry himself away from Tabby’s bedside, and they headed downstairs to the living room. They sat down on the couch and didn’t leave much room between them, with Jax resting his head on Ryder’s chest. “How are you holding up?” Ryder asked, taking Jax’s hand in his and holding him close.
“Now that I’m safe and in the comfort of our home, with you and Tabby, I’m doing okay.”
Ryder smiled. “I do like the sound of that … the comfort ofourhome.”
Jax giggled. “I know it’s rather presumptuous and everything, but I do feel like this is my home, too. I love it here.” He turned to Ryder. “I love you.”
“And I love you!” Ryder leaned in and brushed a reassuring kiss on Jax’s lips. He pulled back a little before saying, “There’s something important I want us to talk about.”
Jax nodded. “Okay?” Ryder loved that there was no fear in his mate’s voice. He trusted Ryder.
“When we mated, you know I saw what you went through when Anton held you captive.” Jax sighed but nodded. “ I truly don’t mean to pry, but I want you to know that you can talk to me about it. You can talk to me about anything. I’m always here to listen. You’re so strong, Jax. You’ve been put through hell, but you still find it in your heart to love Tabby, me. You’re still there for your friends.” He stroked up and down Jax’s back. “If it’s too painful for you, then I’ll completely understand, but don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me.” Ryder held his breath, hoping he wasn’t pushing too much.
“I think we should talk about it,” Jax said to Ryder’s relief. Ryder squeezed Jax’s hand in his, and Jax moved in closer to him. So close he was practical on Ryder’s lap—not that he minded. “Well, as you know now … Bo was the alpha who—” his mate had to clear his throat—“abused me then.” He felt Jax draw in a deep breath. “I might as well go back to the beginning,” Jax said. “I was in a homeless shelter. It was a difficult time for me. Sometimes I went without a bed. There were also times when I went without food or water.” Jax sighed. “So you can imagine that when Anton showed up, I was at my lowest. He hung around. Bought me meals. He was kind.” He squeezed Jax’s hand but didn’t prompt him. “I was naïve. I believed, or maybe I just wanted to believe, that he was there to help me. One day he said he and a group of alphas looked out for down on their luck shifters … omegas … He promised … Well, he promised a lot of things,” Jax said. “Needless to say, things only got worse for me after that.”
Ryder shook his head. “Babe, you weren’t naïve. He manipulated you, making you believe that he was going to help you. He targeted you and preyed on your situation. Anyone would have fallen for it. That does not make you naïve, and it definitely doesn’t make you stupid.”
“The beatings became a regular thing. I didn’t know Bo wanted a child; no one told me. But I guess that was why he was so mad every time I wasn’t pregnant. He’d call me names …” Jax blew out a breath. “I guess he wanted a son. That’s why he kidnapped us. He wanted to ensure that I finally delivered the alpha son he was looking for.”
“But you were already pregnant with our baby,” Ryder said. He reached out and touched Jax’s stomach. Jax smiled. “Yeah, I was. I was terrified that Anton would find out and beat me.” Jax’s hands went around his belly in a protective move. “But I also wasn’t because I knew you’d find us.”
“I knew this time I had to be brave for Tabby, for me, for our little bug, till you came for us,” Jax said.
Jax’s faith in him floored Ryder. He vowed to always live up to it.
“When I got to Wildwood after we were rescued the first time, I found out I was pregnant.”
He nodded. “I remember.”
“But, what you don’t know …” Jax hung his head. “I struggled with being pregnant, especially because I was carrying Bo’s child. And then there was you …”
Ryder whispered, “I love you,”through their bond.
Jax said it back, then kept going. “I smelled you, and I was scared, and even more than that, I was angry,” Jax admitted. “But then you didn’t treat me strangely because I was pregnant with another alpha’s baby. I started to believe maybe this was all meant to be. You made me a little less scared, Ryder. Even then.”
Ryder sniffed but didn’t interrupt his mate. It felt like Jax needed to get this out.
“I was going to be a papa. I was afraid of doing it alone, but you never made me feel alone. You never do. I know that you love Tabby just as much as I do,” Jax said.
“I do,” he whispered. “She’s mine, Jax. From the moment I helped deliver her into this world, she was mine.”
“I know.” He heard the smile in his mate’s voice. “So even though things were horrible with Anton and again with Bo, I am going to leave them in the past. They don’t deserve any more of me. Every day I’ll put what they did behind me a little more, thanks to you. And Dr. Alana,” he added with a chuckle.
“We can get through anything together,” Ryder said. He leaned in and brushed a kiss on Jax’s lips. “We always will. Thank you for telling me, my love.”
“I love you, Ryder. You’re my fated mate, but more than that, you’re the man of my dreams, the man who healed my heart. Tabby and I are lucky to have you.”
He reclaimed Ryder’s lips, and they melted together.
Chapter Fifteen
Jax
Ryder kissed Jax, and Jax felt so safe in his arms. He’d never thought the day would come when he looked forward to sex, but with Ryder … he truly did.
They made their way upstairs and were naked by the time they reached Ryder’s bed. Ryder pressed his hand against his chest, pushing him down on the bed. Jax wrapped his hands around Ryder’s waist and pulled him forward, so Ryder was on top of him. They kissed hungrily, Ryder’s tongue brushing across Jax’s. Ryder pulled back from the kiss, his eyes wandering over Jax’s body. Jax’s cock leaked, and heat pooled in his belly just from the way Ryder looked at him. His mate grinned, then moved back in to claim Jax’s lips.
