Jax smiled. “I have no doubt she is.” He stepped into the room and moved over to where Ryder sat in the rocking chair. “But I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Ryder shook his head. “Not possible.” There wasn’t a second of the day that Jax and Tabby weren’t on his mind.
When Jax raised a brow, he added, “It’s kind of my job.” Jax knelt down next to Ryder and Tabby, looking down at his daughter. When he looked back up, Ryder had to fight the urge to reach out and touch him. He gnawed on his lower lip, then quickly looked down at the baby in his arms. “She’s the most precious thing.” His words came out in a breathy whisper.
Right now, the most important things in his world were beside him, and he wanted to hold on and never let go.
“She sure is,” Jax agreed. He reached out to pull back the blanket that framed her face, and his hand brushed across Ryder’s knee. Ryder groaned, and he caught Jax glancing back up at him. Their eyes connected, and for a moment, Ryder got lost in Jax’s stare.
Goddess, what Jax did to him. If it weren’t for the fact that he wanted Jax to feel safe and secure in his home, Ryder would have made a move. It would be so easy to seal their lips together.
But he’d promised himself he would not push. He would be patient. His mate deserved that.
There’d been times he’d thought maybe Jax was ready. A look, or even the scent of arousal. But then he’d flashed back to hearing Jax say that he never wanted another alpha to touch him again.
Ryder refused to do anything that jeopardized the security that Jax felt while staying in his home. He wanted both Tabby and Jax to feel comfortable living with him. He wanted them to feel like this was their home, their sanctuary, and safe space.
Liar. You don’t want a house to be those things. You want to be those things to them yourself.
Ryder swallowed a sigh. He would never give up. He kept hoping that perhaps someday down the road, Jax would know, without any doubt, that he was safe with Ryder. That he would do anything to protect him and keep him safe. And if he trusted him with his body, he would never ever take that for granted either. Ryder wished he could erase every bad memory Jax had.
He wished they could create new ones together as they explored their bonds as mates.
He held his breath even though all he wanted to do was breathe in that intoxicating scent of cinnamon, cherry, and vanilla. Ryder thought about tasting his mate and shut his eyes tightly to block out the image of Jax splayed out on his sheets, his body there for Ryder to worship.
Goddess, he was trying so hard to give Jax space, but it was proving to be more and more difficult with every passing day. There were days he considered staying at Rick’s or one of the empty houses on pack lands for visiting guests. But the thought of being away from Jax and Tabby was worse than the torture of being close but not able to touch.
Ryder held on to the staunch belief that they would have their happiness. He could be patient because they would have forever as mates, so if Jax needed their mating to take a back seat while he came to terms with his past.
So be it.
So you can hold on; you and your right hand have been getting along great.
It wasn’t even just the sex. He wanted to be able to hold his mate. Feel him in his arms. Ryder sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Jax asked softly.
Ryder cleared his throat. It felt dry, and it didn’t help that Jax was mere inches from him, his arm still lying against Ryder’s leg. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”
Jax studied him for a moment, then smiled slightly before he stood up. He used his finger to trace Tabby’s cheek, bringing his neck so close to Ryder’s mouth. He held his breath.
“I feel bad,” Jax said as he straightened.
“Why?” Ryder asked, frowning. Goddess, he was being crazy. When Jax was close, he wanted him to step back so he could breathe, and yet when he stepped away like now, he wanted to pull him closer.
You’re losing your mind, Ryder.
Jax’s shoulder lifted and dropped. “Well, you’re here and taking care of my child,” he said. “It’s late for you, too. You need rest, especially since you actually have work to do tomorrow, and I don’t. If you want to hand her over, I can handle this.”
Ryder shook his head. “Trust me, it’s no problem.” He really wanted to tell Jax that he saw Tabby as his too, but he didn’t think his mate was ready to hear that. “I mean it. Me and Miss Tabby are fine. You get back to bed, and that’s a doctor’s order.”
Jax chuckled. “I have the best doctor in town.”
Ryder laughed and nodded. “And don’t you forget it.”
How he loved this teasing side of Jax. He wanted his mate to always feel this free.
Jax smiled and then turned away from him. When he reached the door, he turned back around. “Don’t stay up too much longer. I’d hate for the doctor to get sick. Then where will that leave us?” He winked.
