“No, but I can tell you that it’s notyouhe’s scared of. At least, not really.”
What the fuck did that even mean, ‘not really?’ So his mate was scared of him? Honestly, Axel had been no help at all.
What if Rowan just doesn’t want you?A small voice in his head whispered.
Mikhail was terrified because a part of him thought that may just be the case, and he wasn’t sure what he would do if that was true.
Five
Rowan
“As much as I love the help—and trust me, I do—you can’t avoid your mate forever,” Alfie teased. They were in Alfie’s living room, and Ro was holding Sebastian. He could tell the twins apart because Seb, being the alpha, was bigger than his younger omega brother Cal.
“How surprised was Malachi to have an omega son?” Rowan asked, trying to change the subject.
“Completely.” Alfie chuckled. “He wasn’t the only one, though. The whole family was. Apparently, there hasn’t been an omega born in their Whitfell line in generations.”
“I can’t believe my baby brother has babies.” Rowan smiled down at the sleeping child in his arms, then back to his brother.
“I can’t believe that sentence doesn’t bother you. Like, legit, it still sounds crazy to me.” His brother still had a huge smile on his face that told Rowan he was very happy with the way things had turned out.
“I’m happy for you, baby bro.” Rowan shot Alfie a wide grin.
“I’m happy for me too. But now are we going to talk about why you seem to be spending more time with me, Axel—hell, even the forest has seen more of you than your mate has.” His brother gave him a pointed stare.
Rowan sighed and glanced at the TV. Alfie had it on ITV2 with one of his favourite shows,TOWIE,going on. Rowan kind of wished his life was like reality TV at the moment because that shit was mostly scripted and at least he would know how everything played out.
“Ro, talk to me. What’s going on?” Alfie placed a hand on Ro's wrist, and he looked down at it, then up to see his brother’s concerned gaze. “You clearly know what shifters are. You know what fated mates means, right?”
Ro flinched at that phrase—he couldn’t help it. Just hearing it again had him back in a place he didn’t like to revisit.
“How do you believe… how are you sure that…” Ro’s voice trailed off. He didn’t even know what he was trying to ask.
“How do I know what?” Alfie asked. “I know you can’t ask how I believe in shifters, because even though we haven’t spoken about it, you clearly are very aware of what it means…”
Ro nodded. He did. And over the past two and a half years, he’d tried not to think about it. Not think about how he’d even heard the term for the first time.
“How can you be sure that the whole fated mates’ thing is true? Okay, sure, so Malachi says you’re his mate… but why do you believe it’s true?” Ro bit his lip after just letting all that out. He wanted to hide from the considering look Alfie was giving him.
Ro felt like his younger brother was seeing more than Ro wanted him to.
Alfie opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but then he closed it again. His eyes were fixed on Rowan like he was trying to see into his soul. Ro looked down, refusing to meet the question he read in Alfie’s eyes even though his brother hadn’t come out and asked what was written all over his face. He wanted to ask Ro what the hell had happened.
“Please don’t ask,” Ro sighed. He stood pacing back and forth and added a jiggle even though his nephew was sleeping soundly in his arms.
“To answer your question, the reason I believe Malachi when he says he loves me isn’t because he says we’re fated… although that did make it easier to give in to what I was feeling.” Alfie had a wry smile on his face. “The truth is, no one has ever treated me the way he does. Sometimes, I catch Chi looking at me and my breath stalls in my chest. I don’t know if I’m worthy of the look I see in his eyes, but somehow he sees me, Alfie, just as I am, and he thinks I’m perfect. I don’t know if that’s fated or whatever, but I know that I want to be that person his eyes say I am. But I also know that even if I’m not, then just me… Alfie,I’menough.”
“Besides, the whole 'turns into a wolf and my cis brother had a baby' thing probably didn’t hurt in the helping me believe train.” Alfie chuckled. “Sometimes it feels like a leap of faith… but then I guess a part of me had already figured Malachi would be there to catch me.”
Rowan stood in the middle of the room, his brother’s words playing over again in his head. It was clear that Alfie believed every word he’d spoken, but Ro had had faith like that before… trusted someone when they said they wanted him as their mate. Until… until apparently, he wasn’t enough.
And he couldn’t risk Mikhail telling him the same thing.
Fated mates were for others, not him.
“What if I jump and there’s no one to catch me?”
“Trust me, Mikhail will be there. I have a feeling he already is. Besides, maybe start with walkingbeforeyou jump.” Alfie stood and came over to him. “Give him a chance to surprise you. Maybe you can do that at the holiday party tonight. Don’t make him pay for someone else’s mistakes. Most of all, big brother, don’t pass up happiness because you’re scared.”
