“You know what I want.”
“No, I don’t.” Frustration bleeds into her voice. “You say pretty words and make me feel things I don’t want to feel, but what happens when the storm clears? When I go back to Atlanta?”
“You want to know what I see?” I step closer, and she backs up until she’s pressed against the wall next to a garland-wrapped banister. “I see my ring on your finger. Your clothes in my closet. Waking up next to you every Christmas morning. I see us raising Bella together, maybe giving her a sibling or two. A lifetime of hot chocolate and tree decorating and arguing about whether Die Hard counts as a Christmas movie.”
Her breath catches.
“I know it’s crazy. I know we’ve only had a day and a half together and it’s too soon.” I run a hand through my hair. “But you asked for the endgame, and that’s it. That’s what I want.Even if I have to wait years for you to trust me enough to want it too.”
I’m so far over my head I can’t even see the surface anymore.
“You’re insane.”
“Is it insane to want what we could have?”
“Yes!” The words explode out of her. “I can’t risk everything on a man who thinks I’m after his money.” Her voice cracks. “You called me a gold-digging whore, Enrick. I called to tell you I was pregnant, and you just... screamed at me.”
The pain in her voice guts me. Whore. I called her that.
Holy hell, I can still hear my own voice spitting that poison, and the way she went completely silent on the other end of the line. That terrible, awful silence before she hung up.
“I’m sorry, Desiree. You didn’t deserve that. I didn’t mean it.”
“Then why say it? Why say those awful things?”
“Because I was terrified.” I take a step closer, and she doesn’t move away. “Penny’s mother used Maverick for years. Weaponized their kid, bled him emotionally and financially. When you told me you were pregnant, all I could see was history repeating itself with me, and I was scared out of my mind. Hurting you was easier than trusting you.”
“Understanding why you hurt me doesn’t erase my pain.” Her voice shakes, but she holds her ground. “It doesn’t change what you did. When things got complicated, your first instinct was to destroy me. I was terrified too, Enrick. I’d spent the most incredible night of my life with a stranger, and then I was pregnant and alone and—”
She breaks off.
The image of Desiree alone in some apartment, staring at a positive pregnancy test slams into me. No partner to hold her hand. No father for her baby except one who’d called her a whore. Nine months of doctors’ appointments and kicks and midnight cravings, all by herself.
It makes me physically ill whenever I think about it.
“So yes, I understand being scared. I understand lashing out.” She presses her palms flat against my chest, but doesn’t push me away. “But what happens the next time you’re scared? The next time something unexpected happens between us?” Her fingers curl into my shirt. “How do I know you won’t turn on me again?”
I cup her face. “You don’t. I can’t give you a guarantee, Dez. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect or that I’ll never fuck up again.” I stroke my thumb across her cheekbone. “What I can tell you is that I’m more scared of losing you again than I am of anything else.”
“Enrick—”
“Let me finish.” My forehead drops to hers. “You want to know what terrifies me? It’s not commitment or responsibility or even being a father. I’ve done that for five years, and I’d die for that little girl.”
My voice drops to a whisper.
“What scares me is losing you forever because of what I said.” My hands slide through her braids. “I can’t undo it, Dez. I can’t rewind to that phone call or the months and years that followed. I can only prove myself a better man now.”
“Daddy?”
We spring apart like guilty teenagers. Isa stands in the hallway, rubbing her eyes with tiny fists, her unicorn pajamas wrinkled from sleep.
“Hey, sweetheart.” I clear my throat, trying to shake off the intensity of the moment. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m thirsty.” She lifts her arms, and I scoop her up automatically. She burrows into my chest, still half-asleep.
“Uncle will get you water, yeah?”
I glance back at Desiree, silently communicating that the conversation is paused, not over. But she’s already backing away.
