“Don’t they trust you to love her and do your best with her?”
I look at Jay, feeling like my gruff exterior has deteriorated in the last hour. “Sometimes I still don’t trust myself, and I doubt I’m the right choice to raise her.”
Jay places Arianna inside the bassinet and moves closer. He pushes my legs open and wiggles his way in, then takes my face in between his palms. “You are the best thing that could have happened to her. And to me.”
I close my eyes, overwhelmed by everything that’s happened in the last couple of months.
“What if I fail her? What if they’re right?”
“No, you won’t. And no, they aren’t. Look at what you’ve achieved in only a few weeks. You’re raising Arianna. If she’s happy, it’s because of you.”
“And you,” I say, placing my hands on his slim hips.
“Only because you saved me.”
“I’m glad I was there. And I’m sorry I’ve dragged you into this mess.”
“You haven’t. I want to be here. With you and with Arianna.”
I pull him close and he comes willingly. I raise my head, silently asking for a kiss.
He quickly complies, and I wish Arianna wasn’t here so he could make everything better with his kisses and I could thank him for supporting me by worshipping his body.
How do couples with kids make the sex work?
Arianna stirs inside the bassinet, as if she has some kind of sensor that tells her I’m thinking naughty things. I reach out to touch her cheek.
“I really want the best for her, even if it’s not me.”
“You’re better than your parents, that’s for sure. Don’t let them win.”
“I won’t. I’ll fight for my family.”
CHAPTER 20
Jay
The last couple of days have been a nightmare. Between worrying about Jeremy, opening up about my life, and Haden’s parents barging in on a Saturday morning to make Haden feel like he’s all kinds of wrong, brought me to the end of my rope.
The only good thing in all of this is that finally my wish came true last night and I licked Haden’s tattoos until we both came. I can’t wait to lick them again… and again. Just thinking about it makes my mouth salivate, remembering how good he tasted.
So after breakfast I’ve decided to go out. Haden has a couple of clients, and Arianna and I have a date with the park. It’s cold but the sky is clear, so it’s the perfect day for a walk.
I put Arianna in her onesie, attach the dummy to it, and then we’re ready to go. Once downstairs, I strap her into her seat, and without any hesitation, we’re off.
The air is cold, and it makes my nostrils tingle, just like my lips do when Haden kisses me. That brings to mind the way his fingers opened me up, and how completed I felt once he was inside me.
“Give it back.” The voices of kids around me bring my attention back to my surroundings, and away from the dream I lived last night.
I walk faster, leaning down sometimes to talk to Arianna, who’s looking around as if Christmas has come.
She’s attracted to kids, and her little eyes follow the noises all around her. When she’s older it’ll be a pleasure watching the world through her innocent eyes.
I point to birds and squirrels every time we meet one, and we stop at the small lake to watch the ducks and swans.
We do the big walk round a couple of times and then stop at the small cafe. I find a seat outside, glad to have stolen another scarf from Haden to keep me warm, and I pull it up to my nose, loving the smell of citrus, orange, and Haden’s own masculine scent.It’s like being in bed with him again, or on his lap with my face buried in his chest.
Ordering a small tea and cake, I appreciate that I can buy them without worrying about money. My thoughts are pulled to Jeremy, and his safety. I’m aware that it’s not egoistical to want more for ourselves, but still, me being here having a good life while he’s still stuck in the gutter with Dick doesn’t sit well with me.
