Kai steps closer to Jeremy and he goes still, years of ingrained protective mechanism taking over. I’m not the only one who notices his behaviour.
Haden takes a step forward, but at the same moment Kai stops.
I watch Kai’s jaw tick and his eyes fill with rage when Jeremy’s attention goes to Haden, just to disappear when Jeremy’s eyes are back on him with a fire I’ve never seen there before.
His eyes narrow in fake outrage, and he shakes a finger at Jeremy, and his face becomes relaxed and pleasant again. “Maybe you need someone to teach you some manners.” His eyebrows wiggle up and down and it’s clear to see that he’s joking. Everyone can see he’s trying to make amends for the misstep.
His words only manage to fire Jeremy up. “You don’t have enough stamina to take me on.”
I like Kai for what he’s doing, and I love Jeremy for being strong despite the years of abuse and his fears.
“Can you stay?” I ask Jeremy. I want to talk to him without anyone around. I need to make sure he’s safe.
“Yeah, for a little bit.”
“We’ll be in my room.” I look at Haden when I say that, as it’s not really my room. I want to hug him when he nods and doesn’t correct me. I shouldn’t be this happy as it’s only going to bring heartache once I have to leave. But I don’t want to think about it now.
“I’ll come back later to check on you.”
“Okay. Bye,” I say to Kai. “And thank you.” I’m not thanking him just because he’s been taking care of me, but because of the way he treated Jeremy.
“Bye, old man.” Jeremy teases him again, and what a joy it is to witness a different side of him. “If you behave, I’ll give you a discount.” He winks at the doctor, and I’m in awe, because Jeremy is usually like a stray cat, all teeth and claws.
Kai must have made an impression.
“I’ve never paid for sex, and I’m not going to start now.” His tone is nasty and he looks disgusted.
Jeremy’s face falls, and my happiness morphs into anger straight away.
“Fuck you,” Jeremy says, that devilish attitude all gone, replaced by shame. His face shows the hurt Kai’s words have inflicted. He takes my hand and rushes out of the room in the general direction of the bedrooms, and I hate Kai a little bit for it.
I hear Haden scolding Kai, and part of his answer. “I’m sorry man. I didn’t…”
Once we can’t hear them any longer, Jeremy stops, and I place my arms around him and pull him against my chest. We stay there for a moment before Jeremy pulls away, pretending nothing happened.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad by it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” So much hurt in those words.
“Okay,” I say, letting him go and taking his hand to guide him forward.
I let him go and sit on the bed, then pat next to me for Jeremy to sit, but instead he prefers to walk around and touch everything. Just like I did the first time I was here. We’re more similar than I want to admit, because it means he’s as afraid as I am of being alone.
“When are you coming back?”
“I’m not sure. Kai hasn’t cleared me yet.”
He looks at me intently, as if trying to understand what I’m hiding from him, and I immediately share. There are no secrets between us.
“Haden offered me a job. He asked me to take care of his daughter.”
“Like a nanny?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you accept?”
“I want to.
