“I’ll try,” Jay says, trying to act indifferent, instead of looking like someone just punched him in the face. “I’m lucky you were there to protect me.”
Why do his words make my insides feel all mawkish?
Yeah, lucky.“I just wish I’d found you before he could do all this damage.” I caress the part of his face that still looks awful, a mix of green and purple. I don’t even know how I close the distance between us. My insides go all gooey when he gently rests his face against my palm.
Jay looks at me through his eyelashes and my heart thumps inside my rib cage.
Kai clears his throat, breaking the tender moment. “Can you move? I’m here to do a job.”
I should have punched him the moment he scared the shit out of me at the car. I let my hand slide down until it rests at my side. I move inside the apartment, already missing the feeling of Jay.
I send a killing glare to Kai, but he just smirks. Can this guy do anything else but grin?
Instead of following my instinct and making him suffer, I turn my attention to the stuff still outside the door. While Kai takes care of Jay, I focus my attention on bringing everything in.
Without being too obvious, I observe their interactions, and Jay’s relaxed behaviour gives me pause. He smiles more with Kai than when he’s with me. There’s always an edge in every interaction we have as if we’re waiting for something to happen.
Against my better judgement, I still wish he was looking at me instead.
Jay’s eyes find mine, and the sweet smile he sends my way, taking over his entire face, calms that ugly part of me that’s restless at the idea of him being attracted to Kai.
By the time I’m done moving everything from the living room to my room, making space inside my chest of draws for all those small clothes Arianna is going to wear, Kai is done examining Jay.
They’ve moved to the kitchen and are immersed in a conversation while the kettle boils.
I crash onto the sofa, feeling like I climbed the five hundred and thirty steps in St Paul cathedral to reach the Golden Gallery. I rest my head on the cushion, my eyes unfocused on the ceiling. I close them, feeling the heaviness of the responsibility I have for Arianna, and the knowledge that I’m not the best person to care for her.
The other option would be for her to grow up with my parents, but how could I do that to anyone after what I went through?
I bury my face in the crock of my elbow, hoping that’s enough to shut everything out. I’m not even considering the feeling stirring inside me because of a certain someone who’s now living with me.
A tap on my arm has me peeking out from my hiding spot, and Jay’s handsome face appears in front of me. He’s carrying a glass of water and I pull myself up to accept it. I ignore that he’s still doing things he shouldn’t be doing. I don’t want to tell him off again. “Thank you,” I say before bringing the glass to my lips to take a sip.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” But even I can hear the doubt in my tone. “Where’s Kai?”
“He’s gone.” Before I can ask, he says, “I’m getting better.” And then as if shyness is taking over, he changes the subject of the conversation. “Would you like help unpacking things?”
I think about all those bags brimming with baby bottles—because one’s not enough—plastic animal-shaped plates, plastic cutlery that I’m sure Arianna won’t need for another six months, and everything else that goes in the kitchen. How can I forget those machines to clean them, and whatever else that sales lady told me I needed.
Maybe Jay was right when he told me I was a fool, but I want the best for Arianna. If I can’t give her her mother back, or the love Halia would have given her, I can give her what money can buy. I hope it’s enough.
“You shouldn’t be doing anything.”
“I’m sure I can take those weightless items out of the bag.” His smile is a cheeky one, as if he believes I’m exaggerating in protecting him.
Maybe I am, but what’s the issue if I am?
“Sit here with me. I’ll get to it in a moment.”
His indecision about whether to do what I’ve asked or go against it and do what he believes is right pulls at my lips, and they turn up in a smile.
Jay’s astonished face makes me laugh this time. “You’re so handsome,” he says leaning forward, his full attention on my mouth. A feather-like touch lands on my lips just like I did yesterday with his. The contact has me going up in flames, Jay’s touch burning and arousing so much that my cock gets to half-mast.
A gasp leaves my lips as tornado-like emotions fill my body, the sound caused by the need to pull Jay against me, cup the back of his neck, and taste his lips in a demanding kiss. The sound I emit seems to wake Jay from whatever spell he’s fallen under. He stops what he’s doing and pulls back, leaving me wanting more.
I stand, looking for more of those sensations.
