Plus, if she looked at him, she might betray their decision to hide their relationship.It was getting harder and harder to hide it too.When he wasn’t around her, he always lurked in the back of her mind.It was a bit feral, a lot intense.She loved it and hated it simultaneously.Her mom had said that some relationships were like that—all fire and devotion.It was about whether the fire lasted, and how much she wanted to take.
We shouldn’t sell out.
But was it selling out if they only tweaked what they were good at for the sake of winning?
Life was overwhelming and she was unprepared.Caught in the spin of you.
Logan, clearly bored with this conversation, pointed a finger at Dante.“A moment, Baker.In private.”
His face pulled into a frown, Dante unslung the bass from his neck and stood.“I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll be here.Fixing what’s not totally broken.”Selene winked and played a riff on her drums.
Ellery sighed again, which seemed to be her default status lately.Time to work.
Fifteen minutes later she sat in the practice room by herself, just her and Jasper.It would come to her.She knew it would.The words had been flowing since Dante joined the band, and she needed the words so badly.
Spin me around and around and around and around
The hook was all right, but the verses needed to be poppier.Poppier, but not, like, sell-out poppy.It was a fine balance, and she wasn’t sure she had the talent to swing it.
The door to the practice room slammed open, and Dante shoved through it, raking his hands through his hair.
Ellery stood, Jasper still in her hands, but her song forgotten.“Dante?What’s wrong?What happened?”She ran to him and tried to put her hands on his back, anything to soothe him, but he pushed her away.
“Dante?”He had never acted like this before.Hurt and angry and unwilling to talk to her.Her heart swelled and contracted.
He paused by a chair, his chest heaving.“They found out Casper and I are twins.They want us to do a joint interview.”
“What?”She joined him and again tried to take his hand, but he stepped away from her.
“They want to compare me to my brother.On national TV.Make me seem ‘more approachable.’”
“I don’t understand why that’s a thing.”
He turned, pain in his eyes.“It’s a thing because I’m not ready to be outed and compared to my fucking brother, El.It’s my choices.It’s my life!I can’t let them take any of those from me.I’ve worked too hard.”The fight evaporated from him and he collapsed into the chair she had vacated.She placed Jasper on the ground and knelt beside him.
“Of course not.”She rested her hand on his knee.“Look, I’ll call my dad.You don’t have to do this.”
“Wait, your dad knows I’m trans?”His voice was high, full of heat and anguish.
“No, of course not.I wouldn’t tell him.You said we would if and when you felt ready.I wouldn’t do that to you.But he’s a lawyer.He can figure something out.”
He barely relaxed.
“It’s not just that.”Dante wouldn’t meet her gaze as he raked his hands through his long hair.She loved his hair, the way her fingers slipped through it, the way she could grip it and hold on tight while they kissed.
Which, of course, this was not the time.“What do you mean?”
“There’s more.”He heaved a ragged sigh.“They want me to tell my story.About my transition.”
“What?Why?”
“I don’t know.Because they’re assholes who are trying to change and control me?”
Dread pooled in her belly.“Fuck that.It’s your story.You don’t need that aired if you don’t want to share it.This is completely inappropriate.”
He didn’t respond.He covered his face with his hands and sighed, a bone-deep, weary sigh of angst and resignation.
