I breathed in her scent, letting it fill me, quelling those last few panicked thoughts of my wolf. It was over. Rachel was safe. As I let that knowledge settle into my mind, I became acutely aware of every inch of her pressing against me, the way her arms held her against me. Her scent drowned out everything else. All I could think about was her heat and how badly I wanted her, how badly I had always wanted her.
Her breath hitched, her body stiffening as if she had realized at the same moment I had just how close we were. She looked up at me through thick eyelashes, want and uncertaintyflickering in her gaze, her lips slightly parted as she looked up at me, her chin tilted up. It would take almost nothing for me to grab the back of her head and bring her lips to mine. An overwhelming need for her, for all of her, wrapped around me. My grip on her tightened as everything seemed to stand still.
She’s your best friend’s sister, a voice reminded me. And for the first time, I realized just how little I cared.
Then her hands slipped away from my waist, and I took a step back. The world resumed spinning. She stared up at me, stunned, as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.
“I, um, I have to go,” she said.
She turned and hurried out of the room.
Chapter 9 - Rachel
“How are you feeling?” Liv asked. “Because between you and me, I’m still seeing those creepy things whenever I close my eyes.”
Snorting, I pushed the mop along the floor as she slid a few boxes of pasta onto the shelf. “I’m feeling okay,” I said.
“Of course you do,” Liv said. “If I had a guy who cared half as much as Sam did when he found out you were trouble, then I would probably be feeling okay myself.”
I raised my eyebrows, making a face at the newly mopped floor. “I don’t know if I would go that far,” I hedged, pushing the mop across a long dark streak.
When I turned, Liv had stopped shelving and stared at me with irritation. “You’re joking, right? Did you see the way he acted when he came tearing down the hill? He looked as though he was prepared to burn the whole world to keep you safe.”
In my mind, I saw Sam charging toward the demons, fury blazing in his eyes, the way he had immediately gone for the imp that had been attacking me. I felt a flush creeping over my cheeks as I looked away. It was because he was looking after me for Elias. That was all. It was all for show.
Then what the hell happened after you two got home?A voice in my head said with a snide tone. I couldn’t forget the way he had stared at me when he had held me, as if I was the only thing in the world that he wanted, the only thing that mattered to him. It was as if the entire rest of the world could burn for all he cared, as long as I was okay. I remembered the way his arms had held me flush against him. I remembered the look in his eyes, the one that I had told myself multiple times couldn’t be lust or hunger.
That flush turned into outright heat, and I tightened my grip on the mop handle.
“You can’t tell me that you didn’t notice it,” Liv said with utter exasperation.
Sighing, I leaned the mop against the shelves and turned to look at Liv, who still had her eyebrows raised in amusement.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” I said.
Huffing, Liv sat back on her haunches as she regarded me with bemusement. “What is it about him that makes you so guarded?”
There were a million different answers I could give Liv to that question. Part of me wanted to explain the whole story to her. It would at least clear some things up for her, and maybe limit the number of grilling questions she fired my way. But something made me stop. It was private, a thing that happened between Sam and me. Maybe it was because it felt like our secret, or maybe it was because I was simply embarrassed at what I had done, or maybe it was because of years of dreading being laughed at for my childish stupidity. Whatever it was, it held my tongue, stopping the words from coming out.
I bit my lip as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. “It’s still just…hell, I don’t know. I don’t know what to make of him.”
“What do you mean, exactly?” Liv asked.
I drummed my fingers on the counter as I tried to decide how to answer without giving away everything.
“He seems to want to make this work,” I said.
“But you don’t think he does?” Liv asked.
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her about what happened all those years ago, when he had told me it would never work between us. I remembered the cool, indifferent way he had said it to me. And now, it was as though he was trying to be an entirely different person, like he was trying to rewrite history. The second I opened my mouth to try to explain it, however, the words stuck in my throat.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “But I’m afraid that, if I trust him, he’s going to let me down, and I’m going to regret letting him in.”
“He’s your mate,” Liv said. “Why wouldn’t you let him in?”
I glanced away. “It’s just hard,” I said. Then, because I didn’t think that was enough, I added, “You know, after all the years of being bullied and picked on, I just don’t want to open myself up to someone else hurting me on a more emotional level.”Especially someone who already has, I thought, but didn’t say.
Liv shrugged as she leaned against the shelf. “I don’t know, Rachel. I saw the way he looked at you when we were getting attacked by those things. He was livid. He was ready to tear the whole horde of them to shreds.”
