We hadn’t spoken much since the argument. I could understand that she didn’t want me butting into her life, and she felt as though I was smothering her or was overprotective. What she didn’t know was that I had been keeping an eye on her for years, making sure she was safe. When there had been people picking on her when we were both in high school, I had let them know it was in their best interest to knock it off, assuming they liked their heads and balls where they were. She didn’t know that I walked past her workplace on a regular basis, even before the bond, just to make sure that she was okay, and that Jenson, a notorious asshat of a wolf, wasn’t giving her too hard a time. I had kept track of her for what seemed like forever because the idea of not knowing where she was and that she was safe had been like a thorn in my side, a tick in my fur.
At first, I had told myself it was because she was Elias’s sister. At some point, though, I had to admit to myself that it had more to do with the fact that I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Whenever I knew she was going to be in the same place as me, I would search for her in the crowd, follow her path as she moved around, making sure that nothing would happen to her, even if she didn’t realize I was doing it. She was so small, so delicate. It was impossible for me not to follow her, to keep my gaze on her at all times.
Eventually, though, I had accepted it wasn’t going away. All I wanted was to protect her. And I was going to keep doing that.
I couldn’t tell her any of this, not outright and certainly not after that fight, but I wanted to make things right. I didn’t like the stony silence or the annoyed glares she shot at me. If we were going to make whatever this was work between us, Iwanted her to be happy. Rachel safe and happy—that was all my wolf, and I cared about.
I just needed to make sure she saw it.
***
Rachel sat curled up on the couch when I came home—a common sight. She gave me a cool look at first, then blinked in shock when she saw what I was holding.
“Are those flowers?” she asked.
“They’re for you,” I said. “I remember you said you liked orchids, so I hope that’s all right.”
I held them out. After a suspicious look, she got to her feet and took them from my hand, her slender fingers brushing against mine.
“They’re beautiful,” she said. “Thank you.” She stepped back, still clutching them to her chest as she gave me a suspicious look. “Are you going to tell me why?”
“I’m trying to make up for what I did the other day,” I said. “I was just trying to keep you safe. I didn’t realize you would take it that badly.”
She gave a frustrated laugh as she placed the orchids on the table and stepped closer to me. “How am I supposed to take it?” she asked. “You go from not caring for me at all to all of a sudden monitoring every move I make. You made it perfectly clear that you had no interest in anything to do with me. So stop pretending now that we’re mates. You don’t have to do anything.”
“When did I make that perfectly clear?” I asked.
She paused, not answering for a moment as she studied me, her head tilted, dark hair cascading in a curtain. She blinked up at me, as if trying to tell if I was being serious.
“That day in the park,” she said.
I blinked as the words sank in. In a moment, I was transported back to that moment, the fog covering the ground of the park as I finished up my run, seeing Rachel pacing back and forth in my path.
“I told you that I didn’t think it would work out,” I finally managed to say. “That doesn’t mean I never cared about you.”
Scoffing, she shook her head. “You called me weak, and more or less said you were too good for me—”
“That’s not—”
“Then what was it?” she snapped, some of her ferocity that I rarely saw breaking through. She let out a low exhale as she collected her breath. She chewed her lip as she stared out, her arms wrapped tight around her stomach as if protecting herself.
“It really affected me, that’s all,” she finally admitted.
I mulled the words over, shocked but unable to explain myself. It wasn’t as though I had wanted to reject her. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. But it had been the right choice. I had to mate whoever was going to be right for the pack. I couldn’t mate her just because of my own feelings. And that was nothing when it came to my loyalty to Elias.
She stood there, waiting, her head tilted the way she looked when she was particularly interested in something. It would have been cute had it not been for the way her lips drew a thin line of unmistakable disappointment.
“I…didn’t know you felt that way,” I finally said.
I knew it was the wrong thing to say the second the words came out of my mouth. Her entire body went rigid, save for her expression, which gave the barest twitch of a wince.
“Yeah,” she said. “I gathered.”
The silence hung low again, this time heavier.
“I’m going to go now,” she said in a clipped tone. “I’ve got some things I need to take care of.”
She turned and marched away before I could so much as try to call her back.
