“No.”
“Teachers?”
“Ewww.”
Her lips part to offer me another option, but my desire to vocalize what happened last night, to make sure I don’t try and convince myself it was all a figment of my imagination, has me butting in.
“Cowboys. Somewhat crazy, circus performer cowboys.”
“I knew they were making eyes at you. I said to Mateo on the drive home, if you didn’t go home with them, you weren’t the little whore I admired so much.”
I chuckle, my brows pinched.
“I mean whore with the most love and care in the most supportive, feminist way possible. You’ve been moping around here for far too long. You deserved some fun. You were in need of some dick.”
“Well, I certainly got that.”
She squeals as she shakes me by the shoulders. I wince, and she stops dead, tugging up the short sleeve of Caleb’s t-shirt.
“Ropes were a part of the fun,” I add before she can panic.
“Cowboys, tied up with rope, two dicks—how does it feel to be God’s favourite?”
“Pretty fucking sore, and for the purpose of future conversations about my love life, they’re twin cowboys, and they are both pierced.” I laugh as she shakes me violently, uncaring of my taut muscles now. We fall back against the sofa, the laughter dying out and welcoming the soft thrumming beat of my heart as she beams across at me. I pull out the bottle of wine and fill our mugs.
“So tell me, rope bunny, why do I sense a but coming?”
“I hurt them, before they came back here to Hells Haven. Some bad shit went down, and it’s my fault they were sent away.” My lungs deflate, and a tear tracks down over my cheek as I unburden myself with the secret I’ve held onto for so long. I feel safe here with Megan in this small apartment that actually feels like a happy home. She makes it easy to trust her, to loosen the straps of the weight of the past that has latched itself to my shoulders.
“Are you going to see them again.” Her innocent question deserves an honest answer, but I feel tongue tied.
“I don’t know. So much has happened between us. Maybe it was nothing.”
“I have a date in mind if you’re up for broadening your horizons.”
“Any guy would have a lot to live up to. I mean, last night was pretty fucking amazing. But maybe it was just a one-time thing.” I sigh with relief that I’ve expelled my truth. Knowing that it isn’t just an internal thought now, I’ve sent the idea of the Knox brothers taking me out into the world.
I want them. Fuck, I’ve never wanted something more.But deep down, I don’t know if Caleb will ever be able to push aside the demons that separate us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CALEB
“She doesn’t know?” I whisper yell, struggling to keep my voice down as I get in my brother’s face. It annoys me more that he seems so calm right now. “She doesn’t know what, if she moulded around my cock so perfectly it felt like she was handmade by the Gods for us? What doesn’t she know right now?” My voice is an octave higher as frustration bubbles away in my veins. “Maybe it was nothing?” I spit out, repeating her words with an uneven chuckle that feels like a fire licking at my lungs as I pace the room, pinching my lower lip between my fingers as I consider her level of fucking audacity. I’ve lost the fucking plot; I’m standing here whispering angrily to no-one while I gaze intently at the woman I’ve professed to hate, as she pours out her heart and obliterates mine. It feels like a private moment, but I can’t withdraw my gaze from her beautiful face, furrowed brows marred with the weight of unspoken worries. How can she boil our night down to nothing?‘Just a one-time thing.’I shudder at the reminder and curse all wayward feelings I’m currently experiencing—I’m meant to be the strong one.
I’m the one with his shit together.
‘This is a shit pie—no one has control here, and you are certainly drowning in whatever the emotion is that has your fists clenching like that.’
Fuck that voice, fuck my conscience, and fuck her.
“How are you so calm right now?” I address my brother who is lounging on a beanbag watching Ebony on the screen with a dopey smile plastered across his face.
“She didn’t deny us, so look on the bright side, Cal. We tied her up and fucked her six ways from Sunday, and she’s still talking about us with joy lighting her expression. You need to read between the lines. She was into us. For a moment there, we all forgot about the past. We can have that again.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I’m not gonna lie, about the same time our Dove let me sink into her arse. A part of me found Jesus. I didn’t know what euphoria meant before that moment.”
