Noelle’s eyes are closed, and I can feel my panic rising. I hold her in my arms, brushing the snow away from her face.
“Noelle, baby,” I whisper.
There is a pause and a chuckle coming from Noelle.
She opens her eyes bright and smiles. “I want to do that again.”
Tillie laughs. “You had me worried.”
Noelle pulls herself out of my arm and stands. Dusting off the snow.
The instructor whose hand was on her waist steps forward. “Are you hurt?”
“No, I am fine.” She raises her arms up to show us that she is okay.
Tillie and her talk like she didn’t just tumble down a mountain.
“I want to go again. Let’s do it again.” I can hear the excitement in her voice.
“No.” Fuck it; if being an asshole keeps her alive, so be it.
“Roman, you can’t—”
Frustration was humming on my skin. I walk up to her, my face in hers. “You don’t think things through. You just jump.”
The smile from her face fades.
The fear in my chest is mixing with my unseen jealousy, and I can’t control it. Shit, I am spiraling. I never spiral.
“This is what I can’t stand. The impulsive, chaotic behavior!” I shout.
“Excuse me?” she mutters.
“This is why I made the rules. Rule number six: avoid being counterproductive.” My breath feels like it’s coming out short.
She blinks at me, like she didn’t hear me right. “Moments like this, Noelle. I deem them counterproductive.”
“You deem them?” Tillie whispers.
Roman stop.My brain is screaming at me, but my emotions are out of control. I’m always in control, but one woman falls down a slope, and I am fucking unraveling. Is it fear? Fear of her hurting herself on my watch?
“You don’t take anything seriously. You just create moments where someone has to fix it for you.”
She pulls back a little, like that one hurt. Her eyes become guarded, and her spine straightens.
Noelle doesn’t scream; she just looks wounded.
“Wow.” She laughs. “Well, it’s good to know what you really think about me.”
Shit, I went too far.
“Noelle.”
She gives me a tight smile. “I am fine.”
Bending, she unclips her shoes and comes out of the skis.
Tillie steps to her. “Let me come with you.”
