“I’mwhat?” Minnie presses, feeling a certain madness growing within her. Was he ever going to tell her who he was? What he did?To her?
Grimacing, Gage finally says, “You’re fragile, Minnie.”
It’s strange, the way nastiness shapes her lips. It isn’t a common feeling, to feel her lip curl like that of a wolf. Perhaps she has finally taken her trauma and forced it into a new box calledanger. “I wonder who made me that way.”
Anger makes her bold. Brave, even.
Confusion is written on his face now. The eyebrow with the scar through it shifts. “Minnie, can I just come in? What is going on right now?”
She doesn’t move aside, nor does she open the door any wider. Gage’s face falls, his brow furrowing. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know. Fine. Minnie will tell him.
Voice accusing, Minnie says, “My father told me about why you went to prison. He told meeverything. There were pictures in the newspaper. Pictures ofyou. Of Marlin. Of Red. EvenChase. From back then. Such a fascinating read, despite being dated.”
His face pales, and it looks like someone has punched him in the gut the way he deflates. “Minnie,” Gage whispers hoarsely. “I didn’t mean for you to-”
“To find out?” She finishes harshly, voice rising with her emotions. Anger is easier than she imagined. “What did you think, that I’d just be none the wiser forever? You thought you could keep this from me and I’d never know?”
“Fuck. That’snotwhat I thought.”
“Well, what did you think? I’d love to know your logic.” Her voice is an unpleasant croak, dark eyes spitting fire.
Seeing her dig in her heels, Gage straightens up to his full height, a power move. There’s a hint of answering irritation brewing in his hazel gaze. “You want to have this conversation on your front stoop?”
Lifting her pert nose, Minnie tries to look down at him. “I do, actually.” She realizes how stupid it is, wanting to have it out where all her neighbors can hear. Part of her honestly doesn’t care. She’s not letting him in her house right now. She can’t bear the thought.
“Fine.” He scoffs under his breath and looks to the side, jaw shifting as he thinks through his confession. “I planned to tell you. Back when we first met. But you’re the one who told me it didn’t matter. You suddenlydidn’t want to know. So, I guess I just let it go. I didn’t think we’d come this far. I thought you’d eventually move on, find some posh boy your parents liked, and you’d never have to know. You’d never have to be hurt by it.” Gage swallows thickly, cruel tattoos shifting at his throat. “But, you didn’t leave me. And I didn’t want anyone but you. I thought you would recognize somethin’ eventually. I figured somethin’ I did would eventually trigger you. But, again,it didn’t happen. And soon, it became this rotten sickness in my chest, this fuckin’secret that I couldn’t bear to admit to you after all this time. And so, I kept my mouth shut, like a coward.”
Simple as that, Minnie supposes. She distinctly recalls telling him she didn’t care to know what he did, the glow of her crush on him so bright back then. The longer he kept it inside, the more ashamed to speak of it he became.
He’s afraid of losing you.
Gage shifts on his feet, waiting for her response. His eyes search hers, trying to get a clue into her state of mind.
“I see.” Her face shifts in pain. “You should have told me, even though I claimed I didn’t want to know.”
“What should I have said? Oh, hey, Minnie. Remember that traumatic past you told me about? It’sme.” He holds his arms out wide, muscles flexing. “I’m the one who did it. I wasthere. Want to go get dinner now?” He makes a face, disgusted. “You would have been horrified.”
He’s right. She would have lost her mind if he had just brought that up out of the blue. Regardless, the problem doesn’t vanish. “Lying isn’t much better.”
Gage’s expression is grim as he awaits further tongue-lashing.
Minnie bites her lower lip. There are a thousand horrible things she could screech about, but that’s never been her style. “I’m bad at confrontation; you know this.”
“You’re not doing so bad,” he replies with a hint of weak amusement. “You can call me a shit if you want to take your confrontation skills to the next level.”
Sheisn’tdoing so bad at this, Minnie realizes. She’s facing a tough situation head-on, not running from it. A slight ray of hope warms her insides, despite the somber scenario. “Cursing doesn’t improve my skills; it only makes me sound vulgar. So, no thank you.” She narrows her eyes. “But you’re an absolute foul ruffian and a craven scoundrel to boot. You betrayed me by allowing me to care fora lie.”
His eyebrows lift slightly, trying to place the insults she’s called him by. After he accepts that she’s called him all sorts of things without using a single swear word, he says in a somber tone, “I may have omitted the truth, but what I felt for you isn’t a lie, Minnie.”
Oh, such pretty words. “I don’t think you understand how much that time in my life ruined me. I don’t think yougetwhat it was like to be fifteen and helpless, afraid of dying.” She has to blink her eyes to keep the tears from forming, looking away from him. “I’mruinedbecause of it.”
Those words make him soften. Gage shakes his head, looking at her pleadingly. “You’re not ruined, Minnie. I know you’re still hurtin’, because I’m next to you every mornin’ you wake up afraid. I feelresponsible. I wish it had never happened to you. I wish it never happened at all. But I was a stupid shit into some bad things back then, and I fucked up bad. I regret it. And I regret that my choices back then harmedyou.”
None of it is what she expected him to say to her. A part of her expected him to lie to her, to try and deny it all. Somehow, it hurts worse, hearing him admit to it.Hearing him regret it. As if she were something that could be regretted.
Her insides are cracking like glass. She wishes it hadn’t beenhim.
“Why did you do it?” She sounds like a mouse again, and she hates herself for it. Why can’t she just be a lion? Why can’t she just be the type that comes out with fists swinging and a broom in hand? “I know you grew up in a bad situation. But why choose to do what you did?” Minnie grew up in a different world; she wants to understand how someone could make such a horrible choice. “You went beyond petty crime.Armed robbery?!”
