‘Will you make me wait four years for a call?’
‘I won’t.’
She steps forward for a hug. I know I wouldn’t want to leave her if I take her in my arms. When I do, I feel a rush of energy course through me. After all, that bastard Vicky’s gone, that chapter is over. Between last night and now, the possibilities have brightened. I don’t want to rush her, but of course, I want to rush her because it’s been four long years. I feel like I’m one of those rishis who meditate and pray for what they want for so long that tree roots wrap themselves around their bodies. So yes, I feel like rushing her.
‘Thank you, Daksh,’ she says with a bright smile. ‘You still are my lucky charm.’
‘Glad to be of service.’
‘I will have to go now.’
‘If you have to.’
She turns and walks towards the lift. I turn towards the exit. Every yard between us feels like a physical ache. I watch her disappear inside the lift. I’m at the hotel entrance, phone in my hand, the cab application open. I can’t get myself to book a cab.
I can’t deceive myself any more. She’s not a crush. How can she be when she was the beacon of hope while I was drowning? When all seemed lost?
It’s fucking corny but she’s my faith, she’s my truth.
I look at her and it feels as if I’m in the house of God. It may seem dramatic, but she makes me feel that way. Every part of me surrenders to her. I’m helpless, powerless, and all I want to do is please her. She makes me want to rip out every part of my life and lay it at her feet.
It’s like she’s the reason for my being.
Every smile is like a solar flare, and every frown brings with it dark clouds, doubt, despair. She’s the one holding my strings, my heart is in her palm. It’s like I’m a limp tattoo doll in her hand. Even if she chooses to destroy me, I’d accept that fate happily. None of what I feel is rational. It’s nuts. My feelings can’t coexist with reason and logic. As I stand here, in the hotel, I want the world around us to burn down so we are stuck here, in this hotel, to live out an eternity. I don’t want to go, I don’t want her to leave.
My phone beeps.
Aanchal
Where are you?
Daksh
Still at the hotel.
Aanchal
Why?
Daksh
Couldn’t get myself to leave. You done with the packing?
