Vicky looks away from me. I gently hold his face and make him look at me. He’s in tears. After a long time, I feel bad for him.
‘Did you guys plan this?’ he asks, his voice and spirit broken. ‘How did you know I would come? How did you plan this?’
‘We didn’t know you would come.’
‘I came to surprise you.’ Tears streak down his face. ‘It can’t be over,’ he stammers like a lost puppy.
In his brokenness, I find the most love I have felt for him in the longest time.
‘I made a mistake with Rajat,’ I admit. ‘And I’m really, really sorry about it. Because I hurt the boy I liked the most, the boy who was my jaan. But you made your mistakes too, Vicky. You have to see that, jaan. It was . . . you . . . you broke us first.’
‘I’m not your—’
‘Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, please look at me. Listen to me,’ I take his hand into mine. It’s the last time I will ever be holding him.
‘No.’
‘Please, make this easy for all of us. If it makes it any easier, I didn’t touch any guy other than Rajat. But I have lied to you, I have broken your heart, and you have broken mine. We have disrespected each other. That’s worse than sleeping with someone, jaan.’
For the first time in months, he looks at me without hate. ‘What do you want us to do?’
Vanita throws up her hands in frustration. ‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘I’m sorry,’ mumbles Vicky.
‘Jaan,’ I say to Vicky. And then I say the last lie I will ever tell Vicky. ‘Truthfully, you have the biggest dick I have ever seen. The biggest of all time.’
Vanita rolls her eyes, but Vicky . . . Vicky smiles from behind his tears.
19.
Daksh Dey
‘No more talking,’ I warn Rabbani. ‘Finish your sandwich. And if you don’t finish your lunch, then just see what I will do.’
‘What will you do?’ asks Rabbani, her eyes glinting.
‘Please just eat it. I don’t get up in the morning for nothing,’ I answer, realizing I’m mouthing the same sentences Mumma used to say.
‘Dada?’
‘Stop talking and eat, Rabbu.’
She pulls at my sleeve.
‘No,’ I tell her.
She pulls at my sleeve again.
‘What?’ I snap.
‘There! Baba!’ she says and points in Baba’s direction.
Baba’s sitting up in the bed.
He’s not cursing or groaning.
He’s trying to push himself towards the edge of the bed. I am about to get up when he looks at me and raises his hand. He will do it on his own, he gestures.
