“Stage four means it’s spread beyond the liver.It isn’t curable, but there are treatments to slow its progression.Prolong her life.”
I took several steps back until I had the wall behind me for support.“But we can afford the best treatments.”
“Yes.And she will be getting them.But all the money and connections in the world can’t cure cancer.”Oz’s words came out raspy.“She wants you home.Her baby boy under her roof.She wants her Christmas to be happy.She needs you to be here.With us.Not going psycho over your obsession with a girl.Please, Kash, give her that.Let Cressida go.For now at least.”
In all my life, I knew I’d never face anything as unfair again.Being asked to choose between the woman who had given me life, loved me, raised me, who was the only gentleness I had known, growing up, who needed me while her body turned on her, and the one girl who had stolen my soul seven years ago and would own it until the day I died.
Twenty-Two
Kash
The past week, we had started having family breakfasts together.Forge, Oz, and Winslet all came, and we sat around the dining room table, the way we had growing up.Mom didn’t look sick, but Dad had said that once she started treatments, things would change.She was going to undergo some cutting-edge treatments that had been personalized for her specific condition.The doctors had wanted to start her on them immediately, but she’d said she wanted to wait until after Christmas.
We all had one goal now, and it was to make this holiday perfect for her.I felt guilty for the fact that I hadn’t even noticed my parents’ absence so much since I’d gotten home.I’d been so preoccupied with being back, then finding ways to see Cressida that I didn’t question my parents not being around.They had been seeing a specialist and going over the process that would start the day after Christmas.Oz had said it had taken Dad to get her to agree not to wait until the new year, like she’d wanted to.
My dad had gotten on his knees and wept.I’d never seen him cry.None of us had.Oz said he had to walk out of the room before he fell apart, watching it.The sight had changed Mom’s mind.She’d agreed for Dad’s sake.
Now we were all pretending like life was grand while watching my mother barely touch her food, my dad rarely taking his eyes off her.It was as if he was afraid if he did, something would happen to her.
We were two days away from Christmas now, and I was going through the motions of life.The hole in my chest had morphed into a dark, endless well of misery.I didn’t want to hear another fucking Christmas song or be around any kind of joy-filled people.But for Mom, I watched the holiday movies she loved at night.No longer leaving the house much, except go see lights with her or run and get her something that she might want to eat.
Dad wasn’t leaving her side.
Forge had moved into his old bedroom, and starting tonight until Christmas, Oz and Winslet were staying in his childhood room that was now a guest bedroom with a king-size bed.The scenario of us all sleeping under the same roof again was one I would never have imagined, but then I’d never thought I’d face losing my mother.Not at this age at least.She was supposed to be old and enjoying spoiling her grandkids, watching them grow, being there for all the important things.
I sat on the edge of my bed after leaving the breakfast table and hung my head.My mom was sick, and the only person I wanted right now I couldn’t have.I couldn’t even talk to.I had no fucking idea where Bane had taken her.Was she happy with her new life?Job?Had she made friends?Or was she alone this Christmas?
“Fuck!”I growled, fisting my hair in my hands.
A knock on the door caused my head to snap up, and I expected Mom, not wanting her to see me wallowing in my constant state of misery, when Oz opened the door, then stepped inside.
I didn’t want to see him.I had to blame someone.I needed to place my rage somewhere, and he and Bane were the two I’d sunk it into.
“Get out,” I snarled.
I acted for Mom’s sake, but she wasn’t in here right now.
Oz didn’t leave but walked over to me.I straightened, glaring up at him as he got closer.He needed to get the hell out of my room.
“I said, get the—”
He held out a piece of torn paper.“Here,” he interrupted me.“Merry Christmas.”
My eyes dropped to the paper, and I stared at it, then snatched it from his grasp.There was a phone number scribbled out on it.
“Whose number is this?”I asked, studying it, memorizing it in case he took it back.
“I said, merry Christmas, didn’t I?Whose do you think it is?”
I closed it up tightly in my hand, pulling it closer to my chest, and studied him before asking, “Cressida?”
If it wasn’t, I might put the lamp beside me through a wall for the small sliver of hope he’d given me, then taken away.
He nodded.“Yeah.But that’s all.Just contact.Don’t go find her.Stay here.Christmas is in a couple of days.Let Mom have this.Then we’ll go see Linc.”
“Linc?I thought this was all Bane’s doing?”
“Bane was doing this for us.Our family.He’s the only one who knew about it.We were keeping it quiet until you and Forge were told.Bane only did what I’d asked him to do.”
