“I’ll come clean to Lafferty, but I’ll say it’s a recent development. No need to confess to sneaking around behind his back for a year.”
“I’ve sort of wondered if he’s known all along but turned a blind eye because having me around made you more tolerable.”
His scowl made her laugh again. He loved when she laughed, even when she was laughing at him.
“If you tell him,” she added, “you’ll force him to do something about it when we could leave well enough alone and hope for the best.”
“It would kill me if I caused trouble in your career.”
“It’s a chance I’m willing to take to keep from being separated from you right when things are getting interesting.”
He raised himself up as much as he could without wanting to howl from the pain and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. You deserve someone easier to deal with.”
“I suppose I could continue to look around for that guy while I hang out with you.”
He stared at her, momentarily stunned.
Her smile lit up her entire gorgeous face. “I wish I’d had a camera ready to take a picture of your face when I said that.”
“Stop fucking with me. It’s not funny.”
“It is funny, and, Jesse, my love, I’ve only just begun to fuck with you.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“Do you want to play NHL?” Scotty asked Ethan when the other kids went to play in Tracy’s small backyard while the moms had coffee in the kitchen. He and Ethan often played their favorite videogame when they were together.
“Nah.”
“It might be fun to do something normal, you know?”
“Not sure anything will ever be normal again.”
“Remember how I used to live in a home for kids in Richmond, before Sam and Nick adopted me?”
“Yeah.”
“Mrs. Littlefield was my guardian then, and she used to talk to us about how there’s a new normal after something bad happens, and the good news about the new normal is we get to figure out for ourselves what that looks like.”
“Did she say how to do that?”
“First, she’d say, you have to figure out what you need to be happy and healthy. Then you have to figure out how to get it.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again. They killed Luna.” Ethan’s eyes went bright with tears. “They actually killed her, all because she didn’t like Brecken.”
“That’ll never make sense to you as someone who cares about other people. Not everyone does, you know.”
“I know that now. I wish I didn’t know that.”
“You knew it before now. Remember what happened to Grandpa Skip and Uncle Spencer? Those things happened because people who don’t care about others did bad things that harmed them. You and me… We’re not like that. We care about what happens to others, which is why you’ll be happy again someday. Caring about other people will make you happy.”
“I can’t stop thinking about Luna and how nice she was to me. And that she thought she was coming to meet me. Did she die thinking I betrayed her?”
“She was probably smart enough to figure out who betrayed her—and it wasn’t you. You were nowhere to be found when she was harmed. You didn’t do it. They did.”
“I hope she doesn’t think I’d ever try to hurt her.”
“She doesn’t, and wherever she is now, she knows the truth.”
