“Wow, I can’t imagine the two of them not together.”
“Me either. They’ve been a couple since I was still a kid. And you know I consider him a brother.”
“Hell, I do, too.”
“As much as I love Mike, though, I totally see where Tracy’s coming from. Apparently, he told her she was being overprotective and hysterical, among other things he never should’ve said.”
“Yeah, that’s not necessary.”
“The minute he seemed to side with Ethan, she lost the fight, and I’m not sure she’ll forgive him for that. Especially now that Ethan has to live with having been involved in something that led to the violent death of another kid. How does he even begin to cope with that?”
“I don’t know, but hopefully, with time and patience and therapy, he’ll get back on track.”
“I hope so, but I hate that this’ll always be tied to him, and that’s the part Tracy is the most upset about, too. In addition to his own ordeal, of course.”
“I’m sure Mike is just as upset about all of it.”
“Of course he is, but he made a huge mistake in judgment that led to this. It makes no sense when you consider what they went through with Brooke.”
“I’ve been grappling with that myself, like how does he not become a more protective parent after that?”
“Exactly. But as much as I see Tracy’s point, I sure as hell feel for him, too. He certainly never wanted anything like this to happen.”
“No, he didn’t. What do you think will happen now?”
“I have no idea, but I’m really worried about them all.”
“I am, too.”
Chapter Thirty
Mike Hogan was in a state of disbelief as he packed a bag, checked on his sleeping son and daughter, then walked down the stairs and out of the house he’d called home for more than twenty years without a word to the woman he’d loved for all that time.
Almost everything that mattered to him was inside those four walls. He’d cried like a baby earlier when Brenda had brought Abby home. She’d run into the house, crying as she’d hugged him and Tracy, and then raced upstairs to see her brother.
Those two kids adored each other, even if they bickered like typical siblings. Seeing them back together had helped to soothe some of the agony he’d been living in since they’d realized Ethan was missing.
And yes, he knew it was all his fault. That was why he’d left the house the way Tracy asked him to, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to stay with his family and repair the damage that’d been done by his mistake in judgment. Every parent made mistakes, but some were bigger than others, and his had ruined everything.
Hearing that Luna Ahern was dead had been like a knife to the gut. And it was clear that Ethan’s name would be tied to that horrible crime, even though he, too, had been a victim of the men who’d killed Luna. Would people remember that? Or would they think his son had helped to murder a young girl?
The implications were so horrifying, he could barely breathe.
He sat in his car for a long time, trying to figure out where he should go before he turned on the engine, put the car in Drive and left his family for who knew how long.
Tears slid down his face as he drove aimlessly through familiar, deserted streets late on a Monday night. Usually, by this time, he’d be watching TV with Tracy after the kids had gone to bed. With the kids getting older, he felt like he barely saw them during the week because they were so busy with after-school activities, friends and other things that kept them away from home.
He loved their weekends together, but even those were different now that their younger kids weren’t little anymore. He prided himself on trying to grow along with his children, giving them the space they needed to become the people they were meant to be. But he’d fucked this up badly, and it was beginning to dawn on him that he’d pay for that mistake for the rest of his life. He regretted the things he’d said to Tracy when they’d fought about giving Ethan more independence. He never should’ve said she was being overprotective or hysterical, or any of the other stupid shit that’d come out of his mouth in the heat of battle. He’d regretted saying those things even before Ethan had gone missing.
Things had been different between him and Tracy in recent years. The stress of raising two younger children after their eldest had survived an attack in which other kids had died had put a strain between them that hadn’t been there before. He knew they weren’t unique in having parenthood take a toll on their marriage. It happened all the time, but it was unique to him to feel so disconnected from the woman he’d loved with all his heart for most of his adult life.
Things had been going wrong between them since Brooke had been attacked. Tracy had distanced herself from him as she’d helped their daughter through the traumatic aftermath. Once Brooke had recovered as much as she could from such a thing and left for college, he’d hoped he and Tracy might bridge the gap.
But it had only gotten wider.
Over the last couple of days, while Ethan had been missing, he’d had far too much time to ponder the many mistakes he’d made that’d led to this disastrous episode. It would be easy to say that all he cared about was having Ethan home safe, and of course, that was his prevailing emotion. However, he also cared about the damage that’d been done to his marriage and their family as a whole.
Would the children he loved with all his heart hate him someday for the mistakes he’d made that had allowed this horrible thing to happen to Ethan? Would Tracy turn them against him if they split up? Would she really sue him for sole custody of Ethan and Abby? Questions that would’ve been unfathomable three short days ago now hung over him with no easy answers.
