"Are you happy?" Keelin asked Fiona.
Fiona took a small sip of her whiskey and stared at the flames. "Yes, I am. Though I don't think I could ever say that I know one way or the other. It isn't a thought process. It isn't an up and down. I don't know how to be happy because I am happy. Everyone in the States is constantly striving to be happy, obsessing about it really, and nobody realizes that they are standing in their own way. Happiness can be an existence, not just a mood. I've always likened it to simply pivoting when things make me feel negative. If something feels bad to me, I pivot away from it and move towards what makes me feel good. I do this irrespective of what others think. Most don't know how to live that way."
Keelin nodded. She thought about how she had felt when she had healed Finn. It was a mixture of sheer terror along with a rush of power. Part of her had liked it. Almosttoo much. She decided to voice her concerns to Fiona. "I, well, when I healed Finn, it just, it was kind of awesome. It scared me but at the same time it made me giddy! I wanted to run around and make flowers bloom and heal people who were coughing on the street. I don't know if I like that side of myself though. It seems, almost, I don't know, cocky?"
Fiona smiled at her and leaned over to pat Ronan's head. "You're a good girl, Keelin. That was actually one of my biggest concerns when Margaret cut off contact. I feared that you would discover your power and get greedy in your use of it. But, as you know, power carries responsibility. And, the healer's gift can also be their greatest curse. Used inappropriately, your power will kill you." Fiona met and held her eyes. Keelin inhaled a shaky breath and nodded.
"So, some of this needed to happen the way it did."
"Ah yes, to everything in its own time." Fiona raised her glass and clinked it with Keelin's. They both sipped their whiskey and stared at the flames as the shadows grew deep at the window.
"Do you think we should try to find the chalice?" Keelin blurted out. The cove haunted her dreams and she didn't know why.
"Good lord, girl. No. You've heard the term 'let sleeping dogs lie' right? Let this dog sleep."
"I know. I know. I do. It, it is just so fascinating." Keelin quickly backpedaled.
"How many times does the cove need to try to kill you before you realize that not everything in life is meant to be answered? There are some things that aregreater than answers. I know your science mind struggles with that but you must leave the chalice in peace. It is where it needs to be. To disrupt that would be catastrophic." Fiona stared at her with an unwavering gaze.
"But, why does the cove glow blue all the time? It drives me crazy!" Keelin blurted out.
Fiona gasped. "You're in love with Flynn!" A smile broke out on the older woman's face and she jumped from her seat to do a quick jig.
"What? No. No, I am not. Whatever made you say that?" Keelin felt warmth spreading through her cheeks.
"Ah, my dear heart, you most certainly are. I thought that you had only seen it the one time with me. But if you've seen it around Flynn that is very different. A very little known fact about Grace O'Malley is that she was a romantic at heart. A brutal woman to the bone, she believed in love to her dying day. While the cove often glows for its own or when someone passes, it will always glow in the presence of love. It did for me with your grandfather." Fiona danced around the room with Ronan barking at her heels. "We will plan the loveliest wedding on the hills."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. No wedding. No anything. I don't even know how I feel about Flynn. I've only been here a few weeks. And I certainly do not plan on marrying anytime soon."
Fiona smiled at her. "Ah, the stubbornness of youth. There is no timeframe on love."
"Um, does he know about, well, about the powers we have?"
Fiona returned to her seat and took a happy gulp of her whiskey.
"Why don't you ask him?"
"I can't ask him! What – just say hey by the way I can heal people with my hands? Are you cool with that?" Keelin threw up her hands and shook her head at Ronan. He panted up at her with his pink tongue hanging from his mouth.
"Love does not include lies. Either the man accepts you as a whole or he is not the man for you."
"But, I don't even know my whole self." Keelin felt dangerously close to tears. The person she had known in Boston was gone. She wasn't sure of this new Keelin yet but she wanted to keep learning. But to open her heart to love without fully knowing herself – she was certain that would bring nothing but a destructive end.
"You'll get there. And, you'd be surprised what a man in love can help you to discover about yourself. Now, I'm for bed. You stay up and enjoy the rest of the fire. Take some time to think about what you want." Fiona leaned over and pressed her weathered lips to Keelin's smooth cheek. "You've a good heart, Keelin. Let it guide you."
Keelin was dangerously afraid that she knew exactly where her big heart would lead her and it wasn't onto a plane back to Boston. She groaned and leaned her head back against the chair as she stared at the fire. What was she doing with her life? In a matter of weeks she had a whole new family, a pet, and potentially a love life. Her newfound healing talent left her in awe and her studies for school no longer seemed to interest her. She wanted to learn how to be a true healer, not a marine biologist. And,if she admitted it, she'd never felt happier. Flynn's face popped into her head. Her stomach tingled as she thought about her date with him. She wanted him. There was no denying that – but love? There was so much to learn about him. And what about the important things like if he ate pizza or snored at night? All those little details that made people compatible. Shouldn't she know some of these things before her heart said she was in love? Deciding that denial was a safe bet, Keelin tamped the fire down and finished her whiskey, hoping the warmth would lull her into sleep.
CHAPTER 18
The next day Keelin went into town early. She wanted to catch Cait before she opened the pub. Determined to find out more about her new friend, Keelin devised a plan on the drive in. Unfortunately, her mind kept scattering to her big date later that evening.
It's not a big date, Keelin reminded herself. She hadn't seen Flynn since he had stormed off through the fields all Lord of the Manor and whatnot. She assumed that was part of his strategy because now all she did was think about him. Well, about him and her newfound power. Both consumed her and left shadows under her eyes from restless nights. Part of her felt raw, like she was being born into a new skin. It seemed to her like there was no gradual testing of the waters with anything since she had arrived in Ireland. Power flooded her just as much as lust did. Keelin felt like she was lit from within.
Luck was on her side and a parking spot was open directly in front of the pub. Keelin checked the clock. At 11:00,the pub would be open but not quite serving lunch yet. Perfect, she thought. She hoped that her plan worked.
Keelin opened the door quietly and walked inside. She squinted her eyes into the dim light of the pub and saw Cait with her back to the door stacking glasses on the bar. Keelin stood where she was. "What is your soup of the day?" she asked in her head – not out loud.
"A lovely vegetable barley is in the pot for you," Cait said as she turned and smiled. She stopped and dropped a glass to the counter as she looked into Keelin's eyes. Her mouth dropped open.
