I rub my hand down her arm, pulled out of my daydreams of getting to keep her in my life by the tension cording her muscles.
I shift back to catch her eyes, my smile faltering and falling away when I’m greeted by hollow eyes and a blank, frozen expression. It’s a far cry from the celebratory squealing I was half expecting.
“Jenny?” I ask. “I, uh, I think this is where you’re supposed to tell me you’re proud of me?”
It comes out more like a request than the joke I planned for it to be. She stiffens further beside me, and I have a split second to realize thatnoneof this is going to go how I planned before she shoves me away.
“Proud of you?” Her words sound hollow, like I’m looking at a shell of the woman I know. She looks… She lookshurt. “You—you fuck me while telling me I’m yours, and then you expect me to beproudof you when you tell me you’re leaving?”
Well, when she puts it like that, I sound fucking cruel. I wasn’t saying all that just to leave her high and dry, I was saying it so she’d give me a chance to prove Imeanit instead of throwing everything we have away like she did last time.
“Jenny, Jesus, no?—”
“Who thefuckdo you think you are?” she hisses.
She springs out of my bed, hysterical laughter bubbling out of her mouth as she shoves her unruly hair out of her face. Her eyes are blown wide, and she looks everywhere but at me, gaze never settling on something for more than a few seconds at a time.
“Seriously, just give me?—”
“You better shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for you, Cross.” She cuts me off ruthlessly as she snatches her clothes from where they went flying and yanks them back on, careless of the way the seams stretch with how hard she tugs. “I thought you were better than this. I thought you fuckingchanged, but you’re still the same cowardly piece of shit you were back in high school. Al would be ashamed of you!”
Those words hit me like a punch straight to the teeth, leaving me breathless as agony tears through me, soul deep. I shove at my bed until I can sit up, baring my teeth at her in unrestrained fury.
“Don’t you dare bring him up right now,” I spit. “Let me fucking explain myself!”
“There’s nothing to explain! You used me, just like last time, and I was stupid enough toletyou.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I shout as she throws pillows out of the way in search of her shirt. “Could you fucking communicate for once instead of treating me like a human punching bag? Calm down and talk to me! Or at least listen to what I’m trying to say!”
She laughs again, bitter and broken at the edges, and finally meets my eyes. The pain I see reflected in them is a mirror of my own, and I realize, just moments too late, that she’s not angry. She’sscared.
She thinks I’m breaking things off and leaving, and she’s fucking terrified.
Oh, fuck.
I couldn’t have read this more wrong.
“You’ve never once thought about how I would feel when you made your decisions! You left for Utah without mentioning it once, ditched me here and forgot all about me until you had to come back. And then I became convenient again, so why not have a little fun, right?” Her voice is pitchy and swinging between hysterical and heartbroken as she shoves her feet back in her boots, forgoing her socks entirely. “Same thing, different fucking day, huh? It’s always about you, everything’s always about you! You couldn’t care about me if I paid you to.”
Panic grows in my throat, my chest tightening as I fight to draw air in. I shake my head violently, but she’s not looking at me, already searching for her shirt. She’s obviously desperate to get out of here, and I know that if I don’t clear up this clusterfuck of a misunderstanding, she’ll never look my way again.
“No, no, Jenny, I swear, that’s not—please, just listen?—”
“Shut up,” she snaps, her voice ragged with pain. “I’m not listening to a goddamn thing you have to say. Did you ever even care about me, Lucas? Even a little?” She yanks her shirt out from beneath the kitchenette table, fury written clearly in the pinch of her brows, and doesn’t give me a chance to say anything. “Don’t answer that. We both know you were just getting your dick wet. Congrats, asshole. Well fucking played.”
JENNY
“Well fucking played,” I tell him, acid on my tongue as my heart incinerates itself.
My hands shake violently as I yank my shirt over my head. It’s backwards, but I’m too worked up to fix it. I just want to get out of here before I break down.
Lucas has lost any right he ever had to see me at my weakest.
I feelfilthy, used and tossed aside like a ratty old cloth, with about as much care. And I let him. I ignored every rational thought in my brain and walked straight into this, knowing exactly what would happen.
“Jenny, just wait a second?—”
“You’re a piece of shit,” I bite out as I storm toward the door. My eyes are burning, and I don’t want to see his stupid face ever again. Still, I can’t stop myself from freezing at the door, part of me desperate for him to stop me. “I loved you back then.”
