I’ve decided to devote myself to a life of not thinking about Lucas Cross.
It’s going poorly.
Mary and Dad are insistent on letting him run rampant across the ranch, both of them pretending that he’s actually useful, when I sincerely doubt that he’s of any use at all. Deep down, I feel just as bad for him as anyone else — I get that he lost his dad — but it doesn’t make any sense for us to be there to cushion him. Besides, Al was as good as family to all of us. He’s not the only one who lost someone. He doesn’t know anything about cattle or swine, and he’s just as clueless about chickens. The only thing he’s good for is his muscles, and there can’t be an infinite amount of manual labor to be done around here.
Somehow, they keep him busy.
Mind you, not busy enough to keep him the hell away from me. Every time I turn around, he’s right there, infuriatingly casual and flirting more and more by the day. I almost miss the first few days when we were tiptoeing around each other, before he decided that tossing innuendos around was a good way to pass the time.
I can’t catch a fucking break.
Today, at least, I managed to hide out in my office for most of the day, so I didn’t run into him. I had dinner with Dad and Mary, watched an episode of that popular show I’ve been trying to catch up on, even took an extra long shower and washed my hair. That was all supposed torelaxme, but I’m just as tense as I have been since I first caught sight of Lucas when I got back.
I’m stress cleaning now, wiping down the kitchen counters and washing the dishes by hand instead of loading them into the dishwasher. My hair is still dripping from the ends, and while blow drying it would probably help me relax a bit, but I don’t want to deal with the noise right now. I’m jumpy and strung tight, enough that even the TV felt like it was scraping against my eardrums. I just need to get some extra energy out, surely. I’ll tire myself out and then go to bed, and I won’t think about Lucas at all.
A flash of light catches my eyes through the kitchen window, and my brow furrows when I see the barn door wide open.
The person standing in the doorway is unmistakably Lucas — wide and tall, blonde hair illuminated for just a moment as he steps inside. The door slides closed behind him moments later, the light hardly noticeable, but it’s too late to stop my suspicious mind. It’s already dark out, the ranch hands usually long settled into their trailers for the night by now. Dad’s already snoring away in his room down the hall. I personally checked and made sure all the animals were put up for the night, and we don’t have any pregnant heifers right now, so no one should be in the calving pen for him to check on.
What the hell is he doing out there at this time of night?
He hardly knows how to do his job during the day, and he certainly doesn’t know enough about the ranch to be doing chores in the middle of the night. I comfort myself with the lie that I’m worried he’s doing something sketchy as I set a pot back in the sink. It makes sense to go make sure he’s not up toanything. I’m just looking out for the ranch. I’d do it even if I saw any of the other guys out there this late. It has nothing to do with Lucas.
I wipe my hands off on a towel before snagging my phone from the counter. We don’t have lights set up between the house and the barn, and I’d rather not step in any shit on my way out there.
The night air is cool, but still, no breeze to make me shiver. I pick my way around the dips in the dirt road carefully, listening for any strange noises from the barn. There’s a slow, rhythmic thudding, interspersed with the occasional grunt, and my brows furrow in confusion. It’s obviously just the sound of him working on something, but the noises light a fire in the pit of my belly.
I ignore it.
I turn the flashlight off when I get to the door, not wanting to tip Lucas off to my presence in case heisup to something he shouldn’t be doing.
The barn door slides open with just the barest creak, and I slip inside, quickly closing it behind me. The lights outside the stalls are on just like usual, but the light I saw from the window was brighter than that. The door to the feed room is open, and light spills out across the concrete. The sound I could hear from outside is coming from inside.
I keep my footsteps light, the familiar scent of the barn comforting as my heart pounds in my chest.
Lucas’s back is to the door when I finally get close enough to see him. He’s still in the same jeans he probably wore all day, dirt staining the legs, and his tank top is clinging to his skin as he works up a sweat. His biceps bulge as he hefts hay bales, tugging them down from the top of the stack so it won’t be such a bother in the morning. I hate to think of him as anything close to competent, but this right here … this is something that Al made a habit of doing too.
A little pang of grief pierces my heart at the memory.
“Can I help you, Jenny?” Lucas asks, without even turning.
He sounds tired… but amused. His movements never halt, even as I jolt in surprise at how casually he talks to me. I turned my flashlight off before I even got into the barn, and my shadow is behind me. I was even careful to keep my footsteps quiet, not wanting to get caught. There should be no way for him to know I’m here.
“What are you doing in here so late?” I ask sharply, hoping my uncertainty doesn’t bleed into my tone.
The last thing I need is for Lucas to know how easily he managed to throw me off. He was always good at pushing my buttons.
He snorts at my question, turning to pin me in place with those impossibly blue eyes. I can’t tear my gaze away as he tilts his head in amused curiosity and wipes his hands off on his jeans. His skin looks golden under the light of the bare overhead bulb, the shadows at the edge of the room making everything seem a little unreal, a little disconnected from reality.
“I’m doing myjob, Jenny,” he says with a mocking smile. “Everett asked me to prep a few things for tomorrow. What areyoudoing out here after dark?”
Making sure you’re not up to anything unsavory, my mind supplies, full of piss and vinegar.
My heart, unfortunately, pounds in my chest at the sight of Lucas like this. He looks relaxed, comfortable, probably all warm from exertion and thick with muscle. My palms itch with the desire to touch.
“I saw lights on. I was coming out to turn them off. Since you’re out here, you can turn them off before you leave.”
I turn on my heel — not running away, mind you, there’s just no reason for me to stay out here. It’s a tactical retreat.
