“Hell nah. I don’t play about my money, but I wasn’t in the mood for a fight. I told her what she wanted to hear.”
I went to my office and showered before heading to the clubhouse. The dark clouds in the sky concluded my decision to hop in my truck instead of on the back of my bike. My meeting with the members of the Sons of Eshu was scheduled for six, and I prayed traffic didn’t make me late. There were some people who considered us a car club, and others who called us a motorcycle gang. Either way, niggas knew we were a brotherhood that had been solid for well over a decade.
As I attempted to rid myself of the Christmas music playing from the radio, my phone rang, drowning out the noise.
“What’s up, Ma Dukes? Everything all right?”
“No, it’s not,” she blurted out. “Have you spoken to Essen about the party? People are flying in. We can’t cancel.”
“You don’t have to. I told you, I have it taken care of. The party is happening.”
Her heavy sigh poured through my speakers, triggering the knot in my throat to expand. Though I got my shit together over the years, my past stifled her faith in me. The overnight jail stints, guns in her house, and my obsession with the streets created a barrier between me and my parents. True enough, my unruly behavior was rooted from unresolved grief. The reasons behind my actions didn’t dismiss the pain it caused.
“I don’t want to stress you out, Son. It’s just important that everything goes well. We almost lost your father a year ago.” Her lungs emptied fast. “This is a celebration of love, life, and the holidays. That’s one of the reasons I chose to get married around Christmas. This time of the year always promotes good energy.”
“If you say so.” I paused. “How’s the old man doing?”
“He’s okay. He would be better if he heard from you. Your dad has never been big on affection, but he misses his boys. That shouldn’t be the case when one of his sons only lives thirty minutes away.”
I ran my tongue over the gold in my mouth and gripped the steering wheel. I knew my mom’s intentions were good, but I hated how she pretended not to know why shit was sour between me and my pops. My brother’s death sparked his need for control, and my need for space. The combination was dangerous. I turned to the streets to numb the pain then joined S.O.E. That only led me further away from my family. On my eighteenth birthday, I moved out, and we didn’t speak until I was almost thirty. I thought opening my shop would make him proud, but he was too concerned with asking if the money was clean to applaud my success.
“Ma. I’m pulling up to the clubhouse. I don’t want you to worry about the party. I scheduled a meeting with Essen. I’ll send you the details once she confirms the date.”
“All right, baby. Call me back.”
As I walked into the Sons of Eshu hangout, I frowned at the Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling. Just like Casey, the women associated with the club went overboard with the holiday cheer. The way the president of the club acted around this time of year, I would bet bread Shiloh encouraged them to fill the building with any prop they could find.
I bypassed the bar and went straight to a room we converted into a meeting area when we purchased the multi-room property. The long tables that usually rested in the middle of the room were pushed against the wall and covered in appetizers. As I trekked more into the space, I grimaced seeing Durk’s arms loaded with plates of food.
“I swear sometimes, you act like you were raised by wolves,” I commented when I walked up on him.
Like an idiot, the youngest of the bunch started howling at the ceiling until his lady, Clover, smacked his arm.
“Yeah. Beat his ass before I have to,” I joked while giving her a hug.
“Don’t hug this nigga when he came in here talking shit. Ever since he lost weight, he been fucking with me like he need a fade.”
I grinned. “Big or small, I’ve always stayed on your head because you act like you don’t have sense. I love you though. That’s what big brothers are for.”
I focused on the others in the room and noticed my god kids settled at a table. I was one of the few members of S.O.E that didn’t have children, and being in the company of my brothers with their families didn’t entice me to have my own. I will admit that seeing them in action restored a bit of faith I lost a few Christmases ago.
“What’s good, brodie?” Shiloh walked up beside me.
“You tell me. It looks like you’re running a day care center in this bitch, and most of the kids are yours.”
“I ain’t ashamed, nigga. I’m trying to convince Blue to give me another one. I’ve always wanted a big family.”
I cut my eyes at my best friend. “Nigga, get a damn dog, and let that woman breathe.”
“Loso, you got some fucking nerve. All you’ve done in the last four years is stay on top of a bitch you don’t want and don’t want to know. That shit doesn’t get old?”
“Not really. I tried to do shit the right way. I failed.”
“She failed,” he debated. “You were solid back then. Now, you’re a fucking dog. Don’t you realize we’re getting old, nigga? One of the broads you mess with is gon’ rob you blind when you’re too old to see.”
“As long as my stomach is full and my balls are empty, my little sugar baby can have what she wants.” I laughed and looked toward the women my brothers had fallen for. “Maybe I’m not meant to be with one woman. Maybe y’all took all the good ones.”
“Maybe. Just don’t look at mine too long, nigga.” He knocked his shoulder against mine then walked over to his wife. He whispered something in her ear that made the sweet lady blush as she moved to the center of the room.
