Miss Mary had to kiss the candlestick that Mr Ellington held in front of his face. He cheekily removed it, so that she ended up inadvertently kissing his lips.
"Tewkbury." Louisa picked up his pocket watch.
Edmund rose with a sigh of resignation. "I humbly await my penance."
"Only one item to redeem. Tonight was your lucky night, indeed. I shall see that tomorrow is very different."
Edmund did not like the cunning look on Louisa's face.
"And since Lady Tewkbury also has only one item to redeem," she lifted a pendant, “I'll come up with something particularly challenging. You and Lady Tewkbury will 'Kiss the Monkey'."
Edmund groaned.
"What's the matter, Tewkbury? You should have had enough practice, being in the middle of your honeymoon," Lord Benton announced with a gleeful chuckle. He was a portly man with a flushed face from too much drink.
Ellen stood in front of Edmund, her cheeks flushed, avoiding his eyes. "Turn around and get on your knees," Louisa ordered. They both knelt on the floor, back-to-back, and interlocked their arms.
"Now kiss."
This was easier said than done. Each had to turn their heads the other way, twist their upper bodies back and somehow get their lips to meet.
Her sweet, floral scent filled his nostrils. A lock of her hair fluttered across his lips. He turned his head, and she turned hers at the same time, and they crashed against each other.
Edmund winced. The crowd howled.
"Try again," Louisa ordered.
He took a big breath, and his lips brushed her temple, soft as silk. He felt her mouth against his chin.
"Doesn't count. Missed! Try again! Really, you two, one would think you'd have more practice by now," Monteroy scolded.
Edmund could feel Ellen's body quiver with embarrassment.
"It's not that simple," Edmund growled. The problem was that Ellen was a good head smaller than him. He would have to lower his head. She raised hers. A second attempt. This time he reached her cheek, and she reached his.
The third time was no better.
"No good! No good at all!" Louisa exclaimed amid the general hilarity. "Try again."
He twisted his neck further until he felt a crack in his spine, lowered his head further — sweet heaven, that smell—and his lips groped for hers. Finally, their lips brushed together swiftly.
It was over before he realised it, and he let her go.
Louisa crossed her arms with a discontented expression on her face. "That was a chaste kiss. The kind I give my brother when I kiss him goodbye. It won't do at all. Since it took you a good four tries to fulfil this very simple penance, I am afraid I shall have to add another penance to top it."
"I say, Louisa, that's not fair," Edmund protested. "We've done our penance, so that should be enough."
"My dear Tewkbury. I am Mistress of Revels here, so I reign over this evening and determine its rules. And I decree that you two will show the rest of us how to kiss properly. You see," she raised her hands sadly, "we simply do not know how to do it. You are a couple deeply in love, so show us how it's done!"
"Aye, that's a good one," Lord Benton nodded, raising his quizzing glass.
Ellen stared at Edmund, eyes wide.
He scratched his neck.
Dash it all.
"Play along," he murmured, "the more you resist, the worse ideas she'll concoct." Turning to the crowd, he said with a mocking smile, "Very well, watch closely and learn."
