The woman nodded eagerly.
“But that’s entirely out of the question.” Birdie shook her head. “I cannot teach. And even if I could. It’s not possible. I am leaving,” she blurted out.
Eilidh’s stricken eyes flew to her face. “Leavin’? But why?”
“It was a mistake to come here. I never should’ve to begin with.” It was the truth, wasn’t it?
Eilidh shook her head. “But ye just married the duke. Ye cannae just leave.”
Birdie slumped against the tree. “I’m afraid this kind of arrangement is common for people in our class. Dukes marry, and then they send their wives away to lead separate lives.”
“And ye will go along with this nonsense?” Eilidh crossed her arms.
“Why stay where you’re not wanted?” The bitterness in Birdie’s voice surprised even her. The moistness in her eyes was just the wind, she told herself.
Eilidh scrutinised her face. Her features softened. “Yer Grace. I beg yer pardon. But I must ask.”
Birdie scrubbed a hand over her eyes wearily. “What, Eilidh?”
“Do ye love him?”
There it was again. Love. “No! Of course I don’t… love him.”
They didn’t even know each other. The couple of times they’d met, she’d run away screaming, or he’d thrown a book after her.
Yet she’d spoken vows of love not three days ago. A chill swept through Birdie. She’d not only lied; she’d said a vow she never meant, the gravity of which she did not truly comprehend.
Birdie felt utterly wretched. “I’m a terrible person, Eilidh,” she whispered.
“Nay, ye aren’t. Ye’re confused.” Eilidh shook her head. “It’s the men. Always the men. We do everything we can for them. Feed them. Clean them. Keep their house. Give them bairns. And what do we get in return? A beating, that’s what.”
“Eilidh! Your husband isn’t beating you?”
“Yer fate is yer fate, and mine is mine. I used to love him, once. Did not see what kind he truly was.” She shrugged. “Now it’s too late.”
“Why don’t you leave him?”
Eilidh looked at Birdie as if she had two heads. “How can you ask? The bairns, of course.”
“Of course,” Birdie echoed.
“Everything I do is for my bairns. And what they need the most right now is a school. Stay, and teach the children, Yer Grace. I ask this of ye as a mother.”
Teach the children.
She’d run away from teaching children. Now she should do so voluntarily?
It was certainly an assignment. Rather different from teaching spoiled offspring of noblemen. These children would need to be taught everything from the basics. It would be more elemental. More real.
They needed her.
It would have a purpose.
It would do them all good.
“I will think about it, Eilidh.” Birdie said slowly.
Eilidh took Birdie’s hand between her two rough ones. “God bless ye, Yer Grace.”
