“Quatre Bras.” Philip was lost in his memory. “Shortly after, she died in childbirth.”
Little Joy. That bright, cheerful little girl with blonde curls, like a doll.
“Joy is the apple of my eye. She is mine.” Philip turned to her with a fierceness that took her aback. “I loved her from the minute she was born. She is a Merivale through and through. She is my child as much as Robin and Katy are.”
Arabella felt moistness in her eyes. “She is so lucky to have you in her life.”
“I have vowed to protect her as much as Robin and Katy. I don’t want her to know the truth, but God help me, one day I will have to tell her. She has other family out there, probably. But I will make sure we will always be her true family.”
“You couldn’t be a better father.”
“I try. I have made so many mistakes. Like yesterday.” A rueful expression crossed his face. “I couldn’t help but kiss you. But you are my children’s governess. I am not going to be one of those employers who maul those in their employ. It is despicable behaviour.”
Arabella swallowed. Ah. This is where the matter stood.
“Of course. I am just the governess, after all.” Her voice sounded wooden to her ears.
“Arabella.” His face hardened. “There is something else I want you to understand. I’ve been married once. It was a disaster. I take full responsibility for it. I have sworn I won’t do it again.”
“Do what?” she whispered.
“Love. Marriage. It works for others, but not for me.” His eyes burned into hers. “Do you understand?”
Something in her died.
Arabella wrapped her arms around her mid-section. “I, um. I didn’t really mean what I said yesterday. It was a spontaneous reaction to the, er, romance of the moment.” She flushed miserably as she lied.
“Spontaneous reaction.” She saw his Adam’s apple twitch in his throat as he swallowed. “Naturally. Seen in this light …” He moved his lips, searching for words.
“We were both giddy with your success yesterday and got carried away.” Arabella lifted her chin. Her bearing was stiff and proud, hiding the turmoil inside. “Shall we say that is all there is to it? And forget the entire episode?”
“That seems to be the best course of action,” he mumbled. “You are right. It is best if you seek other employment. If you want, I can help you with that. But Miss Weston. Could you postpone that for a fortnight?”
His eyes were sad and pleading.
She almost choked on the clump in her throat as she replied, “I think the sooner I leave, the better.”
“I do need your assistance for another fortnight.”
Arabella’s shoulders slumped. Two more weeks of staying with the Merivale household, dragging out the inevitable end. It was going to be torture.
“It is because we are to go to London. I need your help with the children.” He dragged his hair back with both hands in a motion that she’d grown to love.
“London.”
He nodded. “I need to settle some business there, personally.”
Arabella struggled with herself, then sighed. “Very well. A fortnight, you said?”
He nodded. “We will leave in two days.”
Chapter 25
The coach Philip had hired to take them to London was neither comfortable nor swift. Arabella was used to her brother’s well-sprung and elegant carriages, with seats covered in velvet. A second carriage with the ducal crest and flanked by outriders usually carried the luggage. Their luggage now was partially stowed away under their seats, taking away precious leg space. They’d stayed in two rough, dingy inns, but she’d gratefully accepted the hearty and simple meals she was given.
The coach plodded down the road and jolted her against the door. The seat was hard, and the edge cut into the hollow of her knees. She held the sleeping Joy, who drooled over her arm. Her shoulder felt stiff and cramped from accommodating Katy’s head. Robin and his father sat across from her. Unable to sit still, Robin kicked his legs into hers with regularity, until he, too, dropped asleep. His father had pulled his bulging hat over his eyes and leaned back with crossed arms in the farthest corner. He’d been sleeping ever since.
Her heart ached every time she looked at his reclining figure. Philip had been as amiable as always, but also withdrawn and polite. Gone was the cheerful, teasing man she’d fallen in love with.
