Shelooked up at the sky.It was a clear night, and the stars twinkled brightly.
“This is Ursa mayor, the great bear.” Henry pointed. He wore a shirt, and hissleeves were rolled up.
“No, it’s not,” Lucy replied. “It’s Orion the hunter.”
“There is Polaris the North star right there.” He pointed again. “On line with the two other stars. That means that Ursa is there.”
“That’s Betelgeuse. It’s part of Orion. Polaris is right there.” Lucy pointed to the sky.
“You have it all mixed up.”
“They taught us well in the Seminary. I know my stars when I see them,” Lucy insisted.
“So do I. We used to spend manynights camping and sleeping under the starry night. David and I.” There was a weighty silence between them. “This is where he died.” Lucy looked at him in horror. “We used to come out here. This very spot. Except back then there was no parapet.”
Lucy covered her mouth with her hands.
“He fell.” He stared at his hands, motionless. “I could not hold on to him.”
Lucy’s breath came out gasping. “I—didn’t know. I am so sorry. So trulysorry, from the bottom of my heart.” She wrung her hands. “I wouldn’t have done that childish prank had I known. Really, I wouldn’t.”
Henry sighed.
Lucy dropped her head and turned to go. “I’ll leave first thing tomorrow. You were right about me all the time. I’m no good for Arabella. Or your guests here. Or, or you. I can’t seem to help getting everyone who knows me in trouble. But this—” She shook her head. “This is unforgivable.”
He reached out and took her hand. “I want you to stay.”
Her hand twitched in his big one. “You can’t really want that,” she said thickly.
“I want you to stay.” His voice was low, insistent.
Lucy puzzled over what exactly he meant. Stay up here with him on the roof? Or stay at Ashmore Hall? As a guest? As something more? Her heart squeezed at the thought of leaving this place. Leaving him.
They stood in silence, the night air brushed gently over their faces.
Lucy peeped at him. He had his eyes closed, as if thinking intently. “Will you tell me what happened?” She whispered.
At first, he didn’t reply. “This used to be our favourite place for playing. We used to lie on the roof like this. Hiding from our tutors. They never guessed we were up here. How reckless we were. Back then, there was nothing to prevent you from falling. David slipped. I still don’t know how that happened. Whether he fell over a brick or tripped over his own feet. I used to wonder over it endlessly, Lucy. Whether there was something I could’ve done to prevent it.”
Lucy gripped his hand tighter. “It was an accident. It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered.
“It was. It was my duty to take care of him. I was his elder brother. I failed him and it cost his life. I never should’ve let him come out here. He hung onto the edge for a while. I tried to help him up. He held my hand. But then—” his voice broke, but after a moment he pulled himself together with an iron will, “but then he slipped through my hand.” His voice was bleak. “He was only fourteen. My mother died soon afterwards, giving birth to Arabella. The grief had weakened her. A year later my father died. He completely let himself go. I’m responsible for wiping out half of my family.”
Lucy lifted his hand against her wet cheek. “No. You’re too harsh with yourself. None of it was your fault. You were a child.”
“My childhood ended that day.”
Now she understood. Why he was so overprotective towards Arabella. His fierce sense of duty and honour. The marble mask he wore. Why it was difficult for him to just be himself.
“So that’s why you became the consummate duke.” Lucy felt a leaden sadness weigh her down. “Then the role squashes you so, you have to escape from it, in small increments of freedom – as Henry the gardener. But you always return to retreat behind your dukely mask. It’s your duty. Duty or death. If you don’t fulfil your duty, it costs other people’s lives.”
His hand jerked in hers. “Duty or death.” He laughed harshly. “How melodramatic. But it’s more or less true. After David and Mother died, my father cast aside his role and the duty that came with it. And look what happened: he killed himselfin the process.”
“What happened?”
“My father never wanted to be a duke. Like me. That’s the only thing we shared. He’d always led a fast life. My mother turned a blind eye to it all. The gambling. The Drury Lane doxies. After she died, he just got worse. He gambledand spent his time in the taverns, getting drunk. And actresses.” His lip curled.
“Harriet Westington.” Lucy threw him a sideways glance. The legendary actress of Drury Lane.
