“Viv?” Kyle taps my arm and I jolt in the chair, my chest heaving with panic. “Hey, baby, are you okay?”
“W-what?” I heave and look around, my eyes landing on the waitress carrying our food, confusion written on her face. Christ. “Sorry,” I mutter, brushing my hair from my face. “Sorry.”
I can see the questions on Kyle’s face, but he waits until the waitress is gone to turn to me. “Are you alright? Did Knox say something?”
“No…I mean, yes. I told him about the snowstorm.” I turn to the food spread in front of us. It smells heavenly, but instead of hunger, I feel nauseated. “This looks so good. I bet it tastes great.”
“Viv—”
“Let’s eat,” I say, the words coming out in a plea. “D-did you find a place for the night?”
He’s silent for a while, and I can feel his eyes on me. I don’t have to look up at that handsome face to know that he has questions, but he doesn’t voice them. Instead, he lets out a sigh before passing me a fork. “I found a cabin not too far from here,” he says. “I figured we could share another cabin before we get back to city life.”
“That’s a great idea,” I say, intent on talking about anything so I don’t have to think about my past. Kyle doesn’t push me again, and chat idly throughout the meal, falling into a tense silence as we walk back to the car. I don’t argue when he asks me to wait in the car for him so he can grab a few things from the small grocery store next to the restaurant. In fact, I welcome the silence. For the first time since I met Kyle, I find that I want to be alone.
We don’t speak much when he gets back into the car or on the drive to the cabin. My eyes stay on the window, staring at the heavy snow falling but not quite seeing anything. My mind is on mother’s boyfriend and his last message to me.
I took something from him.
That night, on my way out, I grabbed the box he kept on the nightstand. I have no idea what’s inside, but he was always so protective of it, and a part of me wanted to hurt them. I didn’t think it was something that would warrant a hundred calls and messages. No, I guess I just didn’t…think.
It’s dark when we finally stop, and I can barely make out the cabin through the heavy snowfall. “It’s a lot bigger than the last one,” Kyle says, turning to me. “Let’s head in and check out the place.”
We grab our things and rush up the short steps. He walks to the black lock box and enters the code, grabbing the key and opening the door before moving aside to let me walk in first. “Not going to do your standard check?” I tease, hoping to ease the strange tension between us. “You looked so fierce last time, running around with your gun.”
He chuckles. “I’m not sorry for trying to protect a beautiful woman,” he says with a wink that sends my stomach fluttering. “I’ll do a quick check just to be safe, then you can take a bath and relax.”
I try to hide my disappointment at him not suggesting we bathe together. I stand in the middle of the large living room and watch him walk through the rooms. I’m in the same spot when he comes back. “We could grab a shower together,” I suggest. “You know, save water and all that.” My heart jumps in my chest as I anticipate his answer.
“You barely ate lunch,” he says, walking to me and cupping my jaw. “Go ahead and relax. I’ll make you something to eat.” It’s a rejection, one he tries to soften with a kiss to my forehead.
“Okay,” I manage, despite the lump choking me. I wanted…needed his comfort after that text from Rick. I’m scared. Milesaway, I’m still scared, like I’ve been nearly all my life, and I wanted Kyle to comfort me.
Without another word, I grab my bag and head to the rooms, opening each until I find the bathroom. I sit on the toilet and power on my phone. Like before, another series of texts and calls comes through. My fingers are trembling as I open the texts from my mother, scrolling through to the last one.
Where the fuck are you? Did you take Rick’s box? Bring it back, you ungrateful little brat!
Despite myself, I start scrolling through the older texts, wading through the mess of insults and threats but not a single text of concern from a mother worried that her daughter hasn’t been home for days. I could be dead in some ditch and they wouldn’t care.
Tears blind me, blurring the words as I type a message for my mother.
I tossed Rick’s box in Colorado. Tell him to dig around in the city dump if he wants it so bad. And don’t call me again unless you want the cops to get a tip about all the drugs you keep hidden around the apartment.
I press send on the text and make sure it’s gone through, then block her number before she can get the idea to call me. I block Rick’s number as well, then power off the phone. And then I let the tears fall, mourning the love I never received from the person I spent eighteen years with. I’ll get over it, I assure myself, thinking of both Knox and Kyle. My future will be full of enough love to make up for it.
Chapter Six
Kyle
The candles are burning, the wax just starting to drip down the sides. I glance at the door to the bedroom, then sigh, the flickering flames pulling my attention back to the spread. I grabbed a few things to make a pasta dinner from the grocery store next to the restaurant, and some flowers, and now it all sits waiting for the girl who seems to be hiding from me.
She’s stalling.
I’ve contemplated seeking her out, but I decided to give her space instead. Something happened in that restaurant, and it bothers me that she won’t tell me what it was. Still, I feel an urge to erase the pain and fear I read in her eyes. I want to spend the last night of our trip together, not worrying about the past or the future but…she’s hiding.
I’m about to knock when the bedroom door finally opens.
“I think I’m going to skip dinner and…”
