It was early-onset dementia, the doctors said, after days of tests and hushedconversations. Stress and worry had chipped away at her mind until she needed more care than I could ever give. I was fifteen. Just a kid. And as much as I wanted to be enough, I wasn’t.
The only option was a home.
Thankfully, Mum had tucked away part of my inheritance for me, and when Iturned eighteen that carried us through the first few years. And with no other family to help, after that, it was on me. Every bill, every expense, every month. I don't know how I slipped into the influencer gig. It just kind of happened. One viral moment turned into hundreds of them and suddenly I was in rooms with people I'd only ever seen at the cinema.
Leaving London was always on the cards for me, regardless of what happened to Mum. I didn't care where, but I knew I needed more. Needed to see more. Needed space to truly dowha I loved in a place I loved just as much. And with Liberty Grove having one of the best art schools in the world, catching a flight to New York was was I did.
Didn't harm the double life thing, either. If anything I had more connections here than I did back home.
And since then that was my life.
Smiling for the cameras.
Earning the funds for mums care.
Painting for me.
But I didn’t complain. Not once. Because if promoting brands online was what ittook to keep the woman who gave me everything safe, if being the internet’s It Girl was what kept her that way, then I’d do it a thousand times over.
I’d gladly keep smiling.
I’d gladly keep playing that part.
I could live with people thinking I was shallow. I couldlive with them thinking all I cared about was algorithms.
What I couldn’t live with, was not having my mum here.
I’d been crying for the past ten minutes since that thought floated through myhead. Text Harriet halfway through. She talked to me until they dried. I was reminded of all the ways I was lucky to have her, regardless of the way things worked out.
Harriet wanted to live in a world without those memories. And consideringtheir relationship, considering how mum treated her as her substitute nearly all of the time, I was fine with that arrangement. Because Harri was my guardian angel.She’d been there when mum hadn’t. And I couldn’t thank her enough for that.
So, doing this for her, for us, seemed fair in my eyes.
As I brought my eyes back into focus, they zoned in on the white canvas. Stillbare. Still on the floor. Still screaming at me to climb over whatever mental fence I’d built and just paint.
Thankfully, as I felt my mind start to slip, my phone started to ring from mylap. My knees popped as I got up and leapt onto my bed, but the second I felt the tiniest bit of comfort, it all vanished the second I saw who was calling me.
I took a moment to prepare myself before I swiped the screen and carefully placed it against my ear. “Hey, Louellen.”
“Ah, Cora! How are you, sugarplum?” She chirped, loud enough that itsounded like she was on something.
Loved that about her though.
My bottom lip sank between my teeth as I scrunched my face. “Better. I’mbetter.”
Lie. I was just as bad as when she'd called three days ago. But I couldn’t keepdelaying my life forever, especially not this life.
Her sigh sounded like a baby bird tweet. “Oh, good! That’s wonderful news.” She cleared her throat. “Well, the reason I’m calling is because we need you tocome into the office.”
Great.“How come?”
“We just have a few things to discuss. Nothing bad, all good, actually! It’s justto confirm your attendance at some events we’ve got lined up before the start of summer. We just wanted to go through them with you to see which onesyou want, or definitely don’t want, to attend. Anything to make this transition back into society more comfortable for you.”
This time her tone didn’t grate on me. How could it when I knew the woman itwas coming from genuinely cared about my well-being?
Louellen knew about Mum. Figured that she needed to know the real reason why I was dozing off every time she brought up my career trajectory.She knew art was my one true love.
I remember the first time I saw her after the attack. I’m pretty sure there arestill dents in my arms from how tight she was holding me, as though Jamie would burst through the doors in the office and try to steal me away.
