“Breathe,” Marcus whispered.
I didn’t reply. Couldn’t. What if he heard me? What if he already knew I was here and was waiting for the moment I cracked?
Before I could do anything, I felt a hand cover mine, steadying it, which only made me realise how much mine were trembling. How much my whole body was silently shaking.
I slowly turned my head to Marcus, letting him anchor me as I blinked, something wet falling down my cheek.
I watched him swallow. "For the love of God, please breathe, Cora."
My chest stayed flat for another second or two, but slowly, I let fresh air seep in through my nose, keeping it in my lungs for one, two, three seconds, before I steadily let it back out.
Jesus,I thought I’d be okay. I thought I was moving on. But who was I kidding? Jamie was still controlling every aspect of my life, and I hadn’t realised it until now. One anonymous text from him, and I shut down. One look at his face and I was ready to cry and scream and run back to London myself.
How was this fair? How was a part of this fair on me? My heart? Mylife?
Out of the corner of my eye I watched Jamie move. He hung in the doorway, his face unreadable, but if I had to guess, I’d say that he had the tiniest hint of a smirk. He was never one for big facial expressions. Even when he was reaching over to grab my—
No. Stop it, Cora. You arenotgoing back there.
I watched him, like an anatalope, waiting for the moment the lion finally spotted it and pounced. Before long, his phone was back in his hands, and he was typing away.
The more sporadic my heartbeats became, the more I thought that maybe I was doing okay because he wasn’t physically there. Maybe I’d gotten so good at pretending I was okay that I forgot how he still had me trapped in that car, his body looming over me like the deadliest storm cloud the world hasever seen. But now he was here, all skin and shadow and breath? He wasn't some apperition I could pretend I'd dreamt up.
With that, I shut my eyes. I pretended he wasn’t fifty yards from me. From ruining my life again. I could do it. I wasn’t going to let him be a threat when he wasn’t one. I’d win this.
Sadly, as I blocked out out every ounce of light, silence engulfing the car it was almost defeaning, all those hopes and dreams faded when my phone buzzed.
My eyes slowly lifted open, and when I looked back to the doorway, he was gone. I turned to Marcus, his eyes filled with grief and worry and something I didn't know what to call. But it was sad.
I’d never seen them like that before, with so much care inside that I almost felt I could just dive into his arms and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
I didn’t even want to look at my phone; I didn’t want to see what he’d just typed. So instead, without taking my eyes off Marcus, I handed my phone to him. Another wet droplet fell down my cheek, gliding over my quivering lip. Marcus didn’t look at the phone as he took it, our hands lingering as it became his. All he did was slip it into his pocket, then nodded.
“We’ll get you a new one tomorrow.”
I tried to nod, but as I did, my head grew heavy, and all the emotion I’d kept bottled up for so long came bursting out in the form of tears and sobs. Marcus didn’t think twice before putting the car into drive and speeding us out of there. My sobs wracked my body, and Marcus let me cry. He didn’t tell me itwas going to be okay, not yet. He let me get out what my body needed, and it felt good.
We’d pulled into a side street before I knew it, and just as we parked, the heavens opened, and the clouds rolled in. After shutting off the car, Marcus didn’t hesitate to slip his hands into mine.
“Cora? Cora, look at me.” He urged, the cracks in his voice breaking like glass being pelted with pebbles. “Look at me.”
The softness of his voice captured me. Practically lifted my eyes to his.
This wasn’t the man who'd ordered me around and was on my arse about forever being safe. This wasn't the man who'd been nothing but guarded around me. No. I didn’t know this man. But for some reason, I’d never felt safer than with this version of him.
I lifted my teary eyes to him, barely, my chin nestled in his palm. “Marcus, I’m scared.”
A fresh wave of tears rushed out of me, and he squeezed my hand, nodding like he knew. “You’re allowed to be. But we’re gonna change that, Cor. We are, I promise.”
I didn’t have the energy to question him. So instead, I gave in to the weight crushing down on my body and collapsed in the space between us, letting him do the rest and scoop me into him.
Marcus reached over gear shift, warm arms wrapping around me, and lifting me onto his lap, cradling me into his chest like we’d done this silent dance thousands of times. And I let him. Because I let my mind slip away, just for a moment. I forgotabout the fear and the constant weight of trying to be perfect and shiny and unharmed andfine.
And I cried. So hard.
Rationality wasn’t in my arsenal right now, so I didn’t question myself when I wrapped my arms back around Marcus, my palms gliding over his back, clutching on for dear life. As though I was dangling off the edge of a cliff, and he was my only chance of surviving.
My lips quivered agaisnt his shoulder. “I’m sorr—”
