I was so in love with Marcus Romano—and not one part of that sentence scared me. And for me, that was beyond huge. You know, because you’ve been there. There was a point where I didn’t know if I’d ever get out of bed again, let alone trust another human being so much that I could imagine falling for them. It was one of those moments where I realised just how far I’d come.
Like going back to classes.
Like smiling again.
Like painting for the first time.
And that’s what gave me the confidence to blurt out—
“I love you.”
It was out then. I couldn’t take it back. Not that I wanted to. Not that I ever, ever wanted to. But it was out. And now all I had to do was hope and pray that he didn’t want to run for the hills.
I studied his reaction like it was my religion. His eyes softened just a little, like tonnes of weight were slipping from his shoulders right before my eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched, like he was simultaneously trying not to smile and scream the same thing right back at me. His chest quickened its rise and fall, but I couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.
It took me another ten seconds to realise that it was probably a bad thing.
My heartbeat quickened. My palms went slick, and I had the urge to deny what I’d said—apologise for being so abrupt. But then I realised that was stupid, because I did love him, and I wasn’t sorry about it.
I kept my eyes on his, watching his mouth slip open and quiver, like he was trying to catalogue every word he knew just to find the right ones. But another ten seconds dragged by and still… nothing.
In some ways I felt guilty for springing that on him—but only for a second. In my head, for that moment of doubt, I felt like Jamie. Our attacks weren’t nearly the same. I mean, mine was a love confession and his was a federal crime. But my heart couldn’t differentiate the two right now. It was too busy trying not to implode because he still hadn’t said anything.
My head dropped and I stared at my lap, and immediately his hands found mine, bringing my eyes back to his. It felt desperate, but I didn’t care.
His eyes were drowning in sorrow, which only made me pull my smile tight. Before he could speak, I whimpered, “It’s okay.”
“Cora.” His sigh was so sad.
I shook my head, pulling my hand from his and wrapping my arms around myself. “It’s okay, really.”
He shuffled closer, his body warming mine as his hands reached for me. “No, you don’t understand—”
“I really do.” I nodded, backing up. “It’s fine, Marcus.” My lip began to quiver, my voice to shake. I peered left, avoiding his gaze. “I’d uh… I'd like to go home now. If that's okay.”
His voice crack was like an arrow through my chest. “Cora, please—”
“Let me go home.” My glassy eyes held his, strong as anything. “Please.”
And then, as single tear slipped down my cheek, I didn’t think I’d ever seen another human being look so heartbroken.
I swatted it away as fast as I could. Pretending that being here wasn't killing me.
The drive back to the house was probably the most painful twenty minutes of my life. And that was saying a lot. I’d had many painful moments, but this one? It hurt worse than the rest. More than my dad leaving. More than seeing Mum crumble. More than Jamie.
Because this was me, handing over something real. Something raw.
Not just my body. Not just a moment.
But the words. The truth.
I told him I loved him.
And he said nothing.
No echo. No lie to cushion the fall. Just silence.
And maybe that’s what made it so unbearable. Not the heartbreak, but the humiliation. Because for once, I didn’t run. No—I forgot about the logic of gravity and jumped.
