In the moments where I was trying to work out if I was hallucinating, I think I forgot to breathe. My heart slowed, as did time, and I didn’t know what to do, so I froze. My heels dug into the tiles, chest burning with something I could only describe as the worst fear I’d felt in my life.
Sofia shuffled beside her husband, her arm linked with his. “We’re sorry for dropping by like this.” Her eyes lifted to Jamie, then fell back to me. “We werehoping to talk.”
Before I could let the words settle in my head, Jamie spoke.
“Is now a good time?”
I looked around, my breath catching, suddenly feeling dizzy, like the world had stopped turning and decided to spin in reverse. And as I realised that this was real, that I hadn’t fallen asleep doing stock take, my mind cleared—clearing enough that I realised what had overcome me wasn’t fear, but anger.
My brows tugged together as I balled my fists. “Is now a good time? Is that a joke?”
“Cora.” He sighed.
“No, seriously. Am I being set up right now?” I shook my head, eyeing both of them. “Is this real?”
Both of their heads sank, but it was Sofia who spoke this time. “I know, honey. I know you’re angry. And we just wanted to talk. About what happened.”
I blew a humourless laugh out of my nose, pretending like my hands weren’t trembling. “Oh, you just wanted to talk about what happened? Oh, sure!” My smile was laced with sarcasm, but it was my voice that betrayed me. “Let’s just have one nice, lengthy discussion about your husband assaulting me… What is it?” I counted with my fingers. “Ten months after it happened.”
My hands flailed before me, my mind reeling. "Oh, and let's just conveniently forget the restraining order too hey? Because you want to talk now."
Like a tsunami wave that hit without the warning alarms, everything I’d held back, everything I’d suppressed and ignoredwas drowning me, choking me. And the only way I was going to save myself, breathe again, was letting it out.
“Are you both that stupid that you thought you could come in here and pretend like nothing has changed. Like this was all some big mistake? A fucking misunderstanding?”
Jamie shuffled, eyes looking everywhere but at me.
I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "But if you want to talk, let's talk." My throat burned as my stare chained itself to him. "Let's talk about how it took me four months to not cry like a baby every time I heard your name? Huh? Did you know that?” He didn’t move. But my mouth wouldn’t stop, even though it hurt to breathe. “Let's talk about how I was wailing every time I thought about you. How I stayed home, for months, not talking to my friends, not doing the one thing that made me feel normal, all because of you!”
I was practically screaming at him, but that was the least he was due. This man deserved prison, but judging by the beautiful woman at his side and the rings still on both of their fingers, he was never going to serve his time.
My hands flailed by my side, head shaking as I looked deep into his eyes, letting him watch the tears start to fall from mine. “Why did you do it?” I pulled my hands to my chest. “Why me?”
Jamie blinked, but he still wouldn't look at me.
I shook my head, teeth gritted. “You can’t even say it, can you?”
I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know, but just watching him avoid that question like he’d be slaughtered if he answeredmade my chest sink. Even now, he was slipping through the bars he should have been jailed behind. I couldn’t tell whether it was shame or ignorance driving him, or perhaps both. Anything to avoid the truth, I supposed.
My jaw clenched, and for a moment I just studied him, waiting for something he clearly would never give. The silence between us grew heavy, pressing on my ribs until I had to look away.
My gaze found Sofia. And that was a different kind of ache entirely. “And I’m sorry, you’re still with this man? After what he did to me?”
Shame graced her face for a second before it disappeared. “Cora, believe me, I was,am, still furious about what happened. But you have got to understand that we want what’s best for Agnes.” Their daughter. “She needs her dad around. I want him around.”
I narrowed my eyes with all seriousness. “You want him,” I pointed at Jamie. “Him. Around your daughter?”
She nodded. “He’s a good man.”
My eye roll was just a mask because inside I was convinced that if I didn’t shield myself, I’d crumble. “Do you need reminding what you wanted to talk to me about?”
Jamie moved forward in my peripheral, and I stepped away from the counter.
“Finally got something to say?” My voice rose. “Go on, speak up!”
Guilt veiled his eyes as his face cringed with regret. “I’m sorry. I really, really am, Cora. My head wasn’t in the rightplace. I was dealing with postpartum depression and I wasn’t thinking clearly at all, and I’m so sorry for what I did. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
My brain was seconds away from exploding. “Are you still suffering from it?”
