“Trevor!”
“You’re always excluding me from this relationship. We should consult a couple’s counselor.” He ducks to miss my assailing pillow.
“Speaking of relationship troubles,” I tell him. “You were being awfully friendly with Teyonna today. Should I be jealous?”
“Oh, absolutely you should. She’s so hot, I can’t stand it. Did you see those shorts? Holyshiiiiiit. When she bent over, I almost passed out.”
I snort-laugh. “You’re a weak man.”
“No argument there. But, like, on top of that, she’s still the nicest person on Earth. I can’t think straight when I’m talking to her, all that’s going through my mind is hoping I don’t sound like an idiot. But then again, whenever I say idiotic things it makes her laugh, so.” He releases a groaning sigh.
I glance at the bathroom door, from which an odd electric noise buzzes. “Jeez, what’s taking him so long?”
“You know.” Trevor waggles his eyebrows, miming a jerking-off hand motion, and this time my pillow connects with his face. He hops up, reheating yesterday’s tomato soup. “Damn, I could go for some raspberry silk pie right now.”
I’m exhausted. It’s been the longest day in history, my bones are heavy from walking all over town, I’ve discovered about a dozen new muscles, and they all hurt. I want to wash this day off me before the hot water runs out.
“Hurry up,” I call to Alex, knocking.
“Room for two in here,” he calls back.
“Ew.”
The door swings open; I stumble back, hitting the wall. “Ew?” he repeats, voice deep. Closes in on me. “Ew. Really.” He’s in soft gray sweatpants, rolling a fresh shirt over his head. There are tiny stray hairs clinging to his neck, and I realize what that buzzing noise had been. He trimmed his hair again. It’s now one quarter of a millimeter shorter.
“You did that on purpose,” I say, poking my tongue against my cheek so that I don’t laugh.
“Did what?”
“Made your hair even shorter just because I mentioned it was a crime to cut it.”
He skates a hand over his scalp. “You and my hair. Leave it alone, woman. Trevor has long hair. Go run your fingers through it.”
“Iwill.” I slide past him into the bathroom, coughing on the hot, humid cloud of various bodywashes from my predecessor. Look at him pretending he didn’t do this to make a statement. Oh, yes, he justhadto bring a razor over to my house and trim off a microscopic sum of hair. What an urgent priority.
“Your fingers won’t be able to get past all the hairspray,” he throws over his shoulder.
“He washes it out at night. Which is when we doit, anyway! Sex, I mean.”
I pause; it’s a short-lived death. Behind him, Trevor buries his head in a pillow. Ten years from now, Trevor will still be haunting me with that line.We do all our sex at night! After I wash out my hairspray!
The complete shower experience goes like this: I stand under a pour of lukewarm water, eyes squeezed shut, knowing that the last person to stand in this spot was Alex. An unclothed, wet Alex. Who is about to spend the night in my house.
Breathing my oxygen. Smushing his face against my couch pillows. Wrapping my shaggy blanket with the strawberry print around his shoulders. I’ve rubbed blessed thistle into my furniture (protection against evil), so we’ll be testing the limits of its power tonight.
At some point I accept that avoiding the intruder is fruitless, so I reenter the real world to find Alex relaxing on my couch, one ankle resting atop his knee, arms stretched comfortably along the back. He surveys my home with primal satisfaction. This is fine. This is totally a normal and okay thing to happen.
“Finally,” Trevor grouses, heading into the bathroom.
“You could’ve showered together,” Alex points out.
I’m running a brush through my hair as he watches, the ends dripping onto my burnt-orange caftan. “I don’t trust you in here unsupervised. You might be a thief, for all I know.”
“True. I see all sorts of things I’d like to steal.” He regards me closely. “It’s good manners to offer the bed to your guest, you know.”
“I must not have good manners, then.”
“Your couch is on the smaller side.” He plumps one of my throw pillows dubiously, as if unsure whether it will support his huge, arrogant head. What’s gotten into him lately? When seeing each other again for the first time, he was friendly, warm. Then in a snap he became aloof, surly. Now, he’s not only cocky butannoying.
