After standing, I paced around the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and tried to calm my racing heart. But it was no use as my breathing became ragged and my heart seemed to beat even faster.
Lord, please, have a different result, please.
But after the longest five minutes of my life, both tests read …pregnant.
I thrust my hand into the box for another stick, only to come up empty-handed. “Fuck.”
Serena jiggled the doorknob and pushed the door open, catching me sitting on the toilet with my knees to my chest, clutching the two sticks in my shaky hand. She grabbed them from me, her eyes widening. “Pregnant.”
My lips trembled. “What am I going to do?” I croaked out, my voice cracking.
What if Michael didn’t want another kid? We hadn’t even talked about it yet. I didn’t think we needed to talk about it for a while, likeyears. Melissa was enough for him to handle right now, and he was so much older than me, and I had grad school, and what about—
“Calm down, Mia,” Serena said, stroking my hair.
“What if he leaves me when I tell him?” I asked, wrapping my arms around myself. “We’re not even married yet. We have been dating for a few months now, almost nearing half a year. I’m on birth control and everything.”
Serena crouched down in front of me and grasped my knees gently. “When are you going to finally realize that Michael isn’t going anywhere? He’s not your dad. He’s not Mason. He’s a real man who’d do anything for you.”
I knew that.
I knew he’d take responsibility for it. I just …
My lips parted, and I stared at her through teary eyes. “We haven’t talked about having children.”
“Well … that doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you when he finds out. Michael is responsible. He’ll do whatever it takes—raise it, care for it, love it, just like he loves you.” Serena pushed some hair out of my face and behind my ear. “Now, stop thinking like that.”
I slowly peeled my arms away from myself. But it was more than Michael. How was I supposed to raise a child? This summer, I’d finish college, and then I was going right into my master’s training. I didn’t have time to give birth and raise an entire child during all that. And Michael would have to work. He couldn’t look after it.
And still, I was so young.
“Stop thinking the worst, Mia. If things get tough for you, you have your mom and James. Michael. You have me and Damien. Victor even. We’re not going to treat you any differently, and we’ll be there for you through everything.”
My heart warmed, but I was still nervous.How am I going to tell Michael that I am pregnant? Do I even want to keep it? Can I keep it?
I clutched Serena’s hand tightly and let a tear fall.
“You need to tell Michael as soon as possible,” she said, pushing my tear away.
And as scared as I was, I knew I had to tell him sooner rather than later. I didn’t know how far along I was. I didn’t know anything about pregnancy, like what I’d have to do, what would happen—really happen—to me and my body.
“What about Melissa?” I whispered. “She’s going to think that I copied her or that I’m trying to get all the attention, take her father’s attention away from her.”
I shook my head, not wanting more drama to arise between us. We were getting better together, and now that I was pregnant, like she was, things could get rocky again.
“Maybe I should get pregnant too,” Serena said, wiggling her brows. “She can be mad at both of us.”
I let out a small giggle and playfully rolled my eyes at her. “Stop it, Serena. This is serious. She’s going to freaking hate me for this, and I didn’t even mean to. I mean, I still have my IUD. I didn’t even think I could get pregnant.”
Serena sat down on the bathroom floor and gave me a hopeful smile. “You know there’s always a chance of getting pregnant on any birth control. And besides, that IUD moves around, especially with the kind of sex you’re having.”
She threw me a wink, and I rubbed a hand over my face.
“Look, all I’m saying is that you have to tell Michael. I’m sure whatever you choose to do with it—abortion, adoption, keeping it—Michael will stay. And we’ll all be here, supporting you.”
I took a deep breath and shook my head, still not believing her that Melissa wouldn’t freak out about it. She had admitted to getting jealous, and if these damn tests were right, Michael was going to be givingmethe same amount of attention he’d give her during her pregnancy.
“Maybe this’ll help you get closer to her again. You and Melissa can do all the pre-baby things you do, like exercise classes and birthing classes and, you know, stuff like that. Melissa isn’t going to want to go alone, and she definitely won’t ask Mason or Michael to go with her. It’s a perfect time to patch things up with her.”
