I paused for a long moment. “I’m truly sorry for not thinking about you before I slept with her, but …” I blew out a deep breath through my nose. I did feel bad about this whole thing. I hadn’t heard from Melissa for a day or so, which was weird for me, and I didn’t like it. But she needed to know that Mia wasn’t going to go away. “I’m serious about her.”
“Dad,” she said, quietly, “she’s my age. How would you feel if I slept with her father?”
“I would feel like a shitty father,” I admitted, a heap of guilt washing over me. If I were in her position, I’d be angry too. “But I also feel like a shitty father, knowing that you’re with Mason. You deserve more than anything he could give you.”
Melissa’s frown deepened. “I guess that we won’t see eye to eye on this.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “If you’re going to see Mia, I have the right to see whoever I want to see too.”
I sighed deeply through my mouth. I didn’t know how to get her to see that Mason was bad for her. Maybe she needed the heartbreak to understand what it felt like to value someone like Victor or her friends. I didn’t know. But I would keep pushing her to see that Mason wasn’t the one for her. She was an adult. She had to make this decision for herself.
“Sit down,” I said, nodding toward the waiting room. “Mia should be out soon.”
CHAPTER37
MIA
Ipeered into Mom’s room, my heart racing. She lay on her bed, smiling wide when she saw me. After taking a deep breath and promising that I’d do my best to hold myself together, I walked into the room and shut the door behind me.
Mom patted the bed next to her, and I lay down, wrapping my arms around her bony waist. She grasped my hand and stayed quiet for a few moments, enjoying this silence. Her hold was frail and not as strong as it used to be, and my heart broke.
“Mia, you know that I love you very much.” Tears welled up in her eyes, and I frowned at her. “You’re my only daughter, my sunshine. You have made me so proud and happy these past twenty-two years.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. “And I’ll make you happy for years to come,” I said. “This surgery will go fine, and you’re going to come out of it stronger than before. You will.”
But as I said those words, it felt like I was only talking to myself, trying to make myself feel better because Mom didn’t agree with me. She stared at me with glossy eyes and a heartbreaking smile that told me she didn’t think so.
“Mia, you have to be strong for me. I want to be honest about this, but you make it so difficult because I don’t want to see you cry.” She wiped some tears from my cheeks. “I don’t know if I’ll survive this surgery. I don’t feel as strong as I did the first time around.”
“No,” I whispered, my heart hurting. “Don’t say that.”
“Mia, it’s true,” she said.
I curled up next to her and rested my head on her shoulder, my body jerking back and forth as hiccups escaped my lips. I couldn’t lose Mom. I couldn’t. I loved her so much that it hurt. She was the only person I loved unconditionally. She had taught me so much. I held on to her, listening to the steady rhythm of her heart, and didn’t know if this would be the last time I heard it.
She rested her cheek on my head and stroked my hair. “I love you so much, sweetheart, and I want you to know that whatever happens, I will always be with you.”
“Mom,” I choked out. “Please … don’t say that.” My whole heart was hurting.
“I need you to be strong, Mia. You are an amazing woman, and I want you to know that you can make your own decisions. Don’t depend on someone. Don’t let any man rule you. Don’t let things go unchecked. I want you to be happy and healthy and to live without regrets.”
“Mom, stop.” Tears streamed down my cheeks and stained her hospital gown. I wanted to yell at her that she was going to survive this, but I didn’t know if she would.
She took my face in her hands and forced me to look at her. And all I could do was cry even harder. “Promise me that you’ll do that,” she said to me. “I need you to promise me.”
I shook my head, my chest heaving back and forth. “Mom, please, don’t say this. I … I can’t … I don’t want to lose you. I love you so much.” I placed a hand over my mouth to try to hold back my sobs, but I couldn’t.
“Listen to me, Mia,” Mom said, her voice stronger.
I couldn’t resist looking into her eyes, which, while they looked so sad, were so damn strong.
“Promise me that you won’t take any more abuse from a man; that you will finish school, no matter what happens; that you’ll be happy in every aspect of your life because you can’t live with regrets. I want you to succeed in life, in your career, in your family. Make a family and be happy. Visit me when I’m gone. Okay?”
I blinked, trying to push away the tears, but I couldn’t. So, I nodded and bit my lip, holding back my hiccups. “I promise you.” I took her face in my shaky hands. “I promise you.”
Dr. Jackson knocked on the metal door and popped his head into the room. “It’s time,” he said to Mom. “Mia, I have to ask you to wait in the waiting room with your friends.”
My lips quivered, and I pulled Mom closer to me and into a tight hug. She hugged me back, wrapping her arms around me and holding me so close because we didn’t know if this was the last time we would ever see each other.
I held her for as long as I could, resting my head against hers and sobbing so loudly that everyone could hear me. “Mom, I love you with all my heart.” Salty tears ran down my face.
