I couldn’t get my thoughts to stop racing.
After the waitress handed each of us a piece and departed, Julie let out an exasperated sigh and seized my fingers on the table. “Stop tapping them.” She tilted her head at me, eyes softening. “What happened? Why won’t you tell me?”
I clenched my jaw and pulled my hand away from hers.Don’t flip out on her, Michael. She has done nothing wrong.I balled my hand into a fist and pushed it under the table. “It’s personal.”
“So personal that you couldn’t message me?”
My jaw twitched. What was I even doing here? I should have stayed home or gone to the hospital to try to clear things up with Mia. Not gone out on a fucking date with someone I didn’t even want to be with from the start.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and my heart lurched in my chest. I gripped it through my pants pocket, hand itching to answer it because I knew it was Mia. Nobody would call me this late, except her.
But I wouldn’t interrupt dinner to check my phone. I …
The phone continued and continued to buzz. I pulled it out of my pocket to see Mia’s name flash on the screen. And before I could stop myself, I answered it and put it to my ear.
It was rude.
But it was Mia.
“Hello?”
“Michael,” Mia said, followed by the sound of something pounding around her—rain. “I know that you probably hate me right now, but I don’t have anyone else to call. I … I … Melissa and Mason are drunk, and she tried to force me to hook up with someone at the party, and I can’t get back to the hospital, and I—” Her words came out so quickly that I could barely hear what she was saying.
“Mia, slow down. What’s wrong?”
“Mia?” Julie seethed. She was giving me a look that I had only ever seen Melissa’s mother give me before—pure wrath. “Who is Mia?”
I took a deep breath. “What’s wrong?” I asked Mia again.
There was silence on the other end of the phone, and I could hear her choppy breaths. “Oh,” she said quietly. “You’re … out on a date.”
My heart ached when I heard the disappointment in her voice. “Tell me what’s wrong, and I—”
“No,” she said quickly. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to bother you. I’ll walk home.”
“It’s pouring outside,” I said, glancing at the weather out the window.
“Have a nice date. Sorry for bothering you.” And then the line went silent.
I gulped, trying to remember what party Melissa had said that she was going to tonight. Something had gone wrong, Melissa had fucked something up, and Mia had sounded so damn hurt.
I pulled out a few bills from my wallet and threw them on the table. I stood and grabbed my suit jacket. “I have to go,” I said to Julie, stuffing my wallet back into my pocket.
Her big eyes widened at me. “Now? We’re about to start dessert.”
I glanced down at our table, the to-go boxes set to the side, the piece of cake she so desperately wanted to share in the middle, the glass of unfinished wine I knew she didn’t really like but drank because I did. “Everything is paid for, Julie. Don’t worry about it. It was great seeing you again.”
Without even saying good-bye to her, I pushed through the door and ran out to my car through the rain. Maybe I was a fool. Maybe Mia really wanted me for sex and nothing more. But even then, I would still go pick her up because I didn’t want her falling into a loveless relationship with someone, like I had. I wanted to see her happy. I wantedher.
CHAPTER23
MIA
The rain beat down on my back, and I tried to shield my eyes from the harsh drops. One of those big green signs appeared in front of me, and I squinted up at it.Mercy Hospital: 3 miles.I curled my arms around my body, so I wouldn’t heave back and forth.
What was wrong with me? Crying over Michael now because he had gone out on a date? I deserved all this damn pain. I had driven him away. I’d told him that there wasn’t anything between us when I wanted there to be. He deserved to find a woman who wasn’t as fucked up as I was, who didn’t have so many problems that even she couldn’t keep them straight.
Cars zoomed past me on the highway, their bright lights blinding me. One hit a pothole and sprayed me with all the water inside of it. I continued, not giving a single fuck anymore. All I wanted was to wash off in the hospital bathroom, change into a pair of fresh pajamas, and cry myself to sleep in the waiting room.
